Andy and I took a walk to get some errands done and things didn’t work out too well. It began OK when we found a little pagoda on an island in Hoan Kiem Lake. 3000 Dong entry fee (12p) and a pleasant little environment. Certainly not as ostentatious as some temples and the like I’ve seen recently. There’s also something in the water there that grabs flies off the surface but makes a heck of a splash doing it. I never quite saw it, just the ripples afterwards but it sounded big.

A trip to the Post Office for me to phone Lou ended in a 17500 Dong bill (not that much, really) and me only leaving a message on her answerphone. I got through once, but she couldn’t hear me. Second time, right to voicemail and I have no idea if she could hear it!

 Next we were accosted by a very pushy Vietnamese guy who’d helped me sort out the international call. Good English and expensive postcards. But at least I have enough now to do me for my entire stay in Vietnam!

We then walked up the road and had a woman insist on us holding her bamboo stick over our shoulders with her hat on to have our photo taken. “No money! No money!” So no harm, then.

Suspicions should have been raised when she crouched behind a motorbike when the police drove past. We got our photos, then got charged 100,000 Dong for bananas and pineapple which is stupidly over the odds. And when Andy got back to the hostel he noticed his passport had gone missing. Now we’re not certain but he reckons she may have pilfered it. I think he might be right.

 We’ve searched everywhere with no luck at all. Fortunately, he at least has a photocopy but a replacement will take around 10 days to come through and the consulate doesn’t re-open until Wednesday. We don’t get back from Sa Pa till the following morning anyway.

Yeesh.

To cap it all, it took us 3 ATMs for me to be able to get any money out and 6 before Andy could get one that worked. Also, the machines only seem to dispense 50,000 and 100,000 notes – hardly any merchants can change these, making them difficult to use. Again, the banks are shut until Tuesday or Wednesday because of the long holiday weekend so getting change isn’t easy.

 Overall, not the greatest of days but dinner at the Sky Caf&eactute; kind of helped (chicken burger again). The view during daylight hours is really pleasant. Hoan Kiem Lake to the south, and a major junction to the west with no traffic control at all. Astoundingly, despite literally thousands of vehicles going through it (including buses which seem to be exempt to no entry and one way directions), we only saw one low-speed bump between a moped and a bike. One driver even parked his lime green Daewoo in the middle of the junction and got out for two minutes!

I’m currently sat in the hostel waiting for our ride to appear to get us to the train station. My laptop’s staying here for safety and convenience, so I’ll hopefully update again towards the coming weekend. Sa Pa here we come! I hope it doesn’t rain… 

 Our entire itinerary for the day involved getting back to Hanoi, so the early rise was necessary though not appreciated! Breakfast at the hotel was fairly pleasant. Nice and light: scrambled eggs, bread and tea.

Loi herded us all into the waiting minibus and we headed back to the port and onto the small vessel that had brought us to Cat Ba. The weather was much better than the previous day and I just sunned myself on the top deck, towel for a pillow as we made our way to where we’d kayaked the day before. Upon arrival, our boat re-watered from a floating concrete ship. Floating. Concrete. Weird.

We then waited until another larger boat appeared, similar to the one on which we’d begun our journey. People were swapped (those on that tour who were doing the extra day) and we headed back on the 2-hour stretch to Ha Long Bay. Lunch was served on board and again was cracking grub. It was also nice to have a loo that flushed. Luxury!

The final 4-hour drive back to Hanoi was broken up with a short toilet break at another café where I encountered the cutest kitten ever. The poor thing was really vocal and curled up round my feet when I tried to walk away after petting him. I crouched down and he clambered onto my knee. Loi told me I could take him if I wanted – a gift from Vietnam! “Cats are free”, he told me. Tempting though it was, I couldn’t really look after a kitten for a few weeks while travelling and Vietnamese law prohibits import and export of live animals anyway. *sigh*

Finally, we made it back to Ocean’s offices where Jennifer, her partner, Andy and I all signed up for the Sa Pa tour that Kate and Dale were already going on. 3 days/4 nights up to the mountains. Quite a difference from all the water we’d seen over the last 3 days. The trip includes a lot of hiking, climbing and a motorbike ride; two nights’ travel on the train; one night hotel and one night staying with a family in a village.

With the set-off time being 8:30 the next evening, we were glad we’d be able to see the Chelsea / ManU game as it was an early kickoff. Then realised that it was Saturday already…

Back to the hostel and the helpful staff directed us to two places nearby showing the footie. We opted for dinner at the Hanoi Tower bar, Jaspa’s. A little pricey, but nice Thai-style beef salad as we watched Chelsea thump the Reds to take the Premiership.

A short walk took us to the Funky Monkey bar where I watched us play like crap and draw 0-0 at Birmingham City. The beer was still a little pricey by Hanoi standards here, but even the Bia Hoi place round the corner was after 4000 Dong, about twice the usual price. We headed hostelwards to pack up for the next day and sort washing out. 

 We were woken at 7am by the boat’s engines starting and had an early breakfast, mainly fruit-based. Today’s plan was kayaking, followed by the 2-dayers going home and the 3-dayers transferring to a smaller vessel.

The kayaking was enjoyable, though I was unlucky enough to be teamed up with the now-hungover pain-in-the-butt from the previous night. As a result, I ended up doing all the paddling, and having to put up with her insisting I stop every 100 yards for her to take photos and swap the camera from our kayak to the other girls’. How my day brightened when the batteries died! Having her almost capsize the kayak so that she could turn round and stick her finger up at one of the other guests on the tour didn’t score any points with me either.

This trip was similar to the sea-canoing I did at Phuket, but more work as I was the one paddling – no staff on the back rowing the tourists around. Mind you, if there’s one thing on this holiday I’venot had enough of, it’s exercise to the shoulder-work was appreciated. As with Thailand, the views were spectacular, but my lower back was grateful when we returned to base and clambered out of the kayak.

At this point we separated, six of us continuing on for the additional day – and fortunately seeing the back of the three girls. My apologies to Becky, who seemed quite nice in all honesty. And Sarah, who until Elle joined in was also really good company. One bad apple and all that.

I ended up being “buddied” with Andy who I’ve mentioned before. He’s from Bristol and staying in the same hostel as me, plodding his way down to Oz to work for a year or so. The other folk doing the extra day were Dale and Kate (Aussies, heading to Canada) and Jennifer and her partner who’s name escapes me I’m afraid! She’s French and he’s a mackem. We all have our crosses to bear. The six of us really hit it off, especially as we all had three things in common, so plenty to bitch about! Jennifer was the woman Elle had maturely raised her finger to, also passing comment on her weight and marginally visible armpit hair. Boy, did we lay into her once she’d gone!

 There were three stops in our afternoon, the first for a barbequeue on a small, secluded beach. Sadly, the weather started to close in and the torrential rain put paid to that. Four of us braved the downpour to get rowed ashore anyway, just to say we’d done it. With a towel wrapped round my shoulders to help keep my t-shirt dry (I’d only packed for 2 days), we were rowed 100 yards there, walked for 100 yards and then rowed back again. Dale and Kate sat on the roof of the boat laughing at us, but we were the adventurous ones!

Lunch was instead served on the boat, and once again was top notch. Annoyingly either the alcohol from the previous night or the motion of the boat wasn’t really agreeing with me so I didn’t eat much. I did fill the loo, though. Not ideal as it didn’t flush. My apologies to whoever followed me in.

Our next mini-trip was to “Monkey Island”, a small bubbly-granite rock with some indigenous macaques. We were given bread by the boat crew to hand to the monkeys. These are definitely more “wild” than the ones I encountered in Kao Thakiap, with only a handful daring to venture near the big, pink hairless apes with the food. I did, however, get some super pictures, including one of a mother and child; the teeny offspring clung to her chest.

 Once out of bread, we took a short walk over the beach to a point where we could climb partway up the hillside. This wasn’t as easy as some islands, where there are steps or a path. This was sharp, volcanic granite or granite-like stone. A fall down here would result in puncture wounds, not bruises. Kate couldn’t make it due to her wearing “thong” flip-flops that would most likely not stay on. The rest of us clambered up, somewhat more clumsily than our less evolved ancestors further down the beach.

Loi told us that the island had been used during the Vietnam War, and surrounding ones had included a radar base and so on. When the US tried to bomb them, the Viet Cong hid in tunnels beneath. The rock above them took an utter pounding from explosives and barely felt it.

A somewhat shaky row back to the boat saw us get even damper as the rain started again. We’d asked for some more kayaking, and despite the weather we stubbornly went for it. In lashing rain and some fairly chill winds, four kayaks set off from a floating platform while people living in the village-on-oil-barrels pointed at the crazy white people and waved at us. Loi wasn’t daft – he had the kit for it. A proper kayaking waterproof. The rest of us got utterly drenched and our time out paddling was pretty much decided by how long it would take the rain to fill the kayaks and make floatation a physical challenge.

Once we were all safely back on board the non-openair vessel, we sailed to Cat Ba. This is quite “resort-ish” and would be our stop for the night. A short coach ride from the port got us to our hotel and we were very pleasantly surprised. Big rooms, huge beds, satellite telly, powerful showers with hot water that I think we all needed!

Dinner was slightly disappointing, as it was predominantly seafood-based and the non-fishy options weren’t very prevalent. What there was, though, was very nice indeed.

After dessert (watermelon, as seems very common here), we were convinced to go into a bar round the corner by a girl insisting it was happy hour on beer. Only it wasn’t. But it was still cheap, the pool table free (also a theme here, it seems) and the atmosphere rather lively. More beer was had. Lots more beer. Pool games were played and lost (mainly lost) and friends made with some Americans who actually understood sarcasm.

Andy and I were the last in our group to retire, heading back at around midnight to empty the mini-bar. Well, given that the entire contents came to a shade over £10.00, it would have been silly not to. 

 The taxi arrived just after 8am to take us to Ocean Tours’ office. There we were bundled into various minibuses based on our destinations and we headed off on the 4-hour journey eastwards to the port.

We had one stopoff on the way, to see a souvenir shop, grab a drink and use the facilities. The coach was nice and the drive fairly sedate as long as you didn’t pay any attention to the driving and the view out of the windscreen. Just stare at the passing scenery and feel (falsely) safe.

Our boat was quite impressive and the harbour was full of similar vessels. Large, 3-storey and carved wood decor. The top deck had several sun loungers, restaurant beneath and rooms under that. My room was spacious, en suite and had two very large and comfy double beds in it. Lunch was served shortly after we barged our way out of the dock in some kind of bizarre seagoing dodgems game. The food was superb and, in deference to people like me who don’t “do” seafood, there was plenty of choice in the generous servings.

 The first stop of the day was after a couple of hours at a cave, high up from the waterline. This is a huge natural structure, full of stalactites and stalagmites and wonderfully lit. Our guide, Loi, rattled off a few stories and legends from Vietnamese history relating to some of the rocks and pointed out a few with “recogniseable” shapes. A cannon (which looked more phallic than that, frankly), a turtle and a frog on a lion’s back were a few of these.

Walking back to the boat, I got marginally ripped off by a woman in a small fishing boat selling cookies from the quayside. I was hungry, and 20,000 Dong is still only 80p all the same.

 We next visited Dao Ti Top, named by Ho Chi Minh on one of his visits. This is a small island with a nice beach and fantastic view from the summit. The one problem with summits is that they have to be climbed to enjoy the view. By the time you get there, keeping a camera straight while heaving in deep breathes isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Still, it was well worth the effort and I got a few glorious shots of the surrounding scenery and the beach below.

 The sun was beginning to drop by the time we set anchor in the bay, and we had some time to kill before dinner. Obviously, the only sensible thing to do was to jump into the water from the top deck. Roughly 25 feet off a slippy, angled surface into fairly cool water – lovely! Andy couldn’t catch me diving the first time, so I had another go – I think you can see one of my arms in the bottom of the shot. Trying to catch a person falling at 9.8m/s/s on a digital camera in fading light is a bit of a challenge.

Dinner was served, and again it was top notch. I started chatting to a few people and decided to extend my trip to the 3-day one.

The late evening was… interesting. It was rapidly becoming apparent that one of Sarah’s friends was a spoilt, attention-seeking pain in the backside with absolutely no concept of manners, politeness or other people’s feelings. She got worse after a bottle of vodka (no surprise) and Andy and her ended up having a blazing row that she just wouldn’t let go. Finally, we gave up on her and headed for bed. Only for her to wake half the boat at 1:30am by jumping into the water and screaming.

I guess there’s always one. 

Two of Sarah’s friends arrived at around 5am from Borneo where they’d been fortunate enough to get onto the Orangutan Rehabilitation Program, where orphaned orangs are reared and tended to before being released. This is something I would love to do, but there’s a 2-year waiting list and 2 grand (UK pounds) fee for the privilege. Ouch.

We took a wander around the local area and, in honesty, it’s not that great. Once you’ve seen a dozen different shops, you’ve effectively seen every single one in the area. The people trying to sell you stuff on the streets are a gazillion times more persistent and annoying than the Thais. The fresh fruit’s just as good, though, and about the same price (2000 to 5000 Dong a pineapple).

The traffic’s also utterly mental, even worse that Thailand. Almost everyone here drives a scooter and there seem to be no road rules at all. Horns are constantly being beeped and walking across the road is more a matter of divine guidance and luck than skill or timing.

The girls were looking for a trip to Ha Long Bay and, after shopping about, we headed back to the hostel where they advised us to go for the expensive one with Ocean Tours. The hostel owner has dealt with them for some time and managed to get us a small discount as well. Having said that, it was onlu $US50 for two days (food and accomodation included, plus all the little excursions), which seemed decent value.

In the evening, we joined a larger group and headed out for some food. The Sky Café is recommended. They do everything from Vietnamese food through Thai to burgers and pizza. I had a rather nice chicken burger for 30,000 Dong – A shade over a pound.

Afterwards, we walked up the road for some Bia Hoi – local beer. Houses open their fronts up and put little plastic chairs and tables down for you to sit and and enjoy the locally produced beer. It’s not strong, but tastes nice and is only 2000 Dong a glass (somewhere between a half and a pint). Yup, that’s roughly 8 pence. Barracuda called again, though not for as long this time as I had an early rise for pickup for the tour.