Given the “travel chaos” (i.e. Heathrow being rubbish) that hit around the time I would have been hoping to get a flight, this is perhaps for the best!

I may look at going somewhere for Easter. After watching the Top Gear Christmas special, I’m once again drawn to the Middle East. A shame that, unlike famous people, I ‘d struggle to get into Iraq. On the other hand, I don’t work for the BBC so Iran is permissible. Last year’s plan was for Syria, Lebanon and Jordan – I may resurrect that plan. Kind of apt for Easter.

Summer will be another call. I have “permission” to go away for a long break if I want to. It would be strange, what with the kids, but I do still miss the backpacking and I’m as ever drawn towards Vietnam. Having said that, I’ve still not managed to make it to South America. Or if I fancy staying closer to home, I still want to do Sweden, Norway, Belarus, Latvia, Lithuania and Bulgaria. Oh, and Liechtenstein. And more of Italy. And Germany.

Sometimes it’s a pain living in a world with so many interesting and exciting destinations!

Related articles

• Top Gear’s back: from East Coast to the Middle East (telegraph.co.uk)

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Limited travel

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SLAYER!!!

And onto the final day. Despite an early first act, I decided to scarper into Stevenage on the free bus for a McDonalds‘ breakfast. I got back in plenty of time for Henry Rollins “stand up” routine which was simply staggering. From a metal/punk singer to a one-man troublemaking human rights machine, the guy has been to so many places and done so many things that it’s hard not to be in awe of him.

Without doubt a highlight of the weekend and he didn’t even sing any songs.

Another large gap ensued where I just chilled at the tent and worked through my book. Despite the cloud it was still warm and I actually nodded off for an hour, waking with a start and realising I had only thirty minutes to get somewhere near the front of the stage for the mighty Slayer! I ambled like hell…

It was obvious from the size of the crowd that this was a huge draw for an enormous number of people. Frankly, I’m surprised Tom Araya and company were so far down the bill and given only 45 minutes but such is the state of affairs with large festivals. They didn’t mess around and launched through a brutal set including Reign in Blood, South of Heaven, Mandatory Suicide, Dead Skin Mask, War Ensemble, and of course Angel of Death.

Thankfully, my aging and aching frame was then granted a further rest (and time to head through to the train station for a burger) as there was very little else that interested me until the festival headliners took to the stage.

Those headliners, of course, were Iron Maiden. Legends in their own lunchtimes and several other people’s they rarely disappoint… only this time they did. A little. I know I was shouted down for this after the performance by Sandy and Dave, but I just wasn’t hugely impressed. Far too many recent tracks (which Bruce did justify during the set) and not enough classics. For me, anyway.

Janick Gers and Eddie

I know almost everyone lived the show, but I just didn’t get to sing along enough as I’m not as big a fan of the newer material as I am of the old stuff. Also, I was hoping for a huge finale which could perhaps give Rammsteins’ stage show a 2-minute run for its money. But no. A perambulating Eddie – one of the best I’ve seen, but still just a guy on stilts – was the only “extra” we got.

Now don’t get me wrong. I really enjoyed the show. The band were as musically spot on as always, Bruce is a wonderful front man and the lighting and sound were superb. I’ve just come to expect something amazing from Maiden – and I only got something really, really, really good.

In fairness with a near 30-year history and 14 studio albums (number 15 out this month) they’d struggle to fill even a 2-hour set with everyone’s favourites, but I still feel they have too many classics to worry about pushing new stuff. At the end of the day, if a new Maiden album comes out everyone will buy it anyway.

But, hey. Not to take the gloss off another excellent performance. However, on balance I enjoyed Rammstein more simply for the spectacle. In fairness, I’ve seen Maiden around 20 times, at a guess and Rammstein only once. So far!

An empty festival

Overall, a fantastic festival and well organised. They need more shuttle buses and more campsite toilets for next year (20+ mins queue for a poo at times!), but otherwise a great three days. Roll on 2011. Due to work commitments I don’t think I could manage Download or Graspop next year anyway so Sonisphere better have a good lineup!

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Sonisphere Day 3

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Anthrax

Saturday promised many goodies and was definitely the busiest day in terms of bands I wanted to see. Thankfully across the three main stages, the times had been choreographed so that there – theoretically at least – would be no clashes. Only one stage at a time was “live” and with five minutes to get from stage to stage it was possible (with a little hurrying) to finish one band and run to catch the next.

I had the morning free so used the shuttle bus service to get me back to the train station where I gobbled a KFC for brunch. I’m glad I gave myself plenty of time as a lot of people had had a similar thought and the bus queues were pretty long. Worth the trip, though. Clean loos, good food and less than half the price of the rip-off joints in the festival grounds.

I’d originally planned on watching Soulfly, but I bumped into two girls I’d first met last year at Graspop. The benefits of always wearing the same (Newcastle United) shirt at festivals! Instead, I caught a couple of songs by Heaven’s Basement, and then a few minutes of Soulfly (still trying to be classic Sepultura, still failing) before wandering over to the Apollo stage to get a good position.

The next two hours or so were a blur. A violent, jumping, moshpit of a blur.

Anthrax were the first “must see” of the day and they didn’t disappoint – do they ever? With Joey Belladonna back in the fold, the band ploughed through a 40-minute set consisting completely of classics. Metal Thrashing Mad, Antisocial, Indians… and closing with the utterly geek-tastic I Am The Law. My only issue? Well, apart from it being too short? That most of the kids in the audience only knew the first verse and chorus of the Dredd-inspired masterpiece. What are they teaching kids in schools these days? Oh, wait. That’s my job.

Anyway, Scott Ian and company take their bow and I leg it across the field scattering all and sundry to make it to Fear Factory on the Saturn Stage. I get there just as the band are announced and jump into another pit. Much thumping and violence ensues. As ever, the highest bounces and hardest hits are reserves for Replica. Fear Factory, as I stated when I saw them back in February, still definitely have it – especially since Dino Cazares rejoined.

Papa Roach

Battered and starting to bruise, I turned 180 and ran back to the Apollo stage and managed to crush my way near the front for Papa Roach. Again, a great set but why on earth did they feel that they had to try and squeeze in a new song? Granted it was OK, but with 45 minutes of stage time they really could have stuck to songs the crowd knew.

Dribbling with perspiration (mine and others’, I’m sure), I ambled gingerly back to the Saturn Stage to watch Apocalyptica but gave up after 3 tracks as the sound was awful. Back at the campsite, I ate a lot of junk food and read my book as Good Charlotte wafted down from the Apollo. They sounded surprisingly good and I almost wish I’d stayed up to watch them.

Out of curiosity I walked up to see Corey Taylor doing his acoustic set in the early evening and just managed to squeeze into a packed tent. For those who don’t know, Corey plays with Slipknot so the obvious assumption is that he just hits things, makes noise and has no talent at all (not my opinion, but hey).

That couldn’t be further from the truth. As well as acoustic versions of Slipknot and Stone Sour songs, there was Johnny Cash played and sung with incredible passion. Seriously, this guy was superb. You could buy an album of his stuff and give it to your gran as a present. She’d love it. As did I.

Concrete proof that heavy metal produces musicians, not just noise makers.

Next up on the Saturn Stage were Motley Crue. So I walked down to the Jagermeister tent instead. After their abysmal performance at Graspop the other year I didn’t want to waste my time with them. I met up with Jane and Jason to watch Earthtone9. I thought I recognised the name and it turns out this was their first gig in 8 years. I think I’ve got an album somewhere from the old days when I used to DJ!

My next choice was a toughie – go and watch Pendulum or head into town and get a reasonably-priced dinner. OK, no competition. Pendulum suck more than a high-end Dyson so off to KFC I went. The buses were much emptier and swifter this time and I spent an enjoyable return trip chatting to some of the festival staff. Definitely preferable to listening to a vocalist pretend he’s a black gang-star rapper. Muppet.

Rammstein

Prior to the carnival that was to be Rammstein, I caught up with Moni and Flo for a quick natter but decided I wanted to be a little further forward than they were sitting. Definitely worth the effort though I wish I could have got even closer, even at risk of losing my eyebrows.

I will go no further with describing Rammstein’s set. There aren’t enough superlatives to describe how much I enjoyed it anyway. I’d still not buy their albums but I’m interested in knowing what the best live DVD they’ve released it – it’s on my list as soon as I get an informed opinion.

In short, roll over Alice Cooper. Marilyn Manson can take a seat. Even Maiden with their huge animated stage sets may as well just stick to using nothing but lights any more. Rammstein are without doubt the most impressive entertainers in the rock/metal world. I have never seen a band interact so little with their audience during their set. Never have I cared less. The only disappointment was that they finished with half an hour of their allotted time remaining. I guess this was just a scheduling thing, but it did leave a huge crowd milling around expecting even more!

The final act of the evening was to be Therapy? playing their “Troublegum” album right through. However, after two false starts where the sound and lights died, I gave up. At least I can say I’ve seen them even if they only got as far as the first chorus of Knives. Twice.

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Sonisphere Day 2

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Bizarre freaks

I couldn’t manage to get to Graspop or Download due to spending my extra couple of months holiday in Vietnam. I’m somewhat gutted as it meant I missed some class acts like Lawnmower Deth, Steel Panther, Carcass, Deicide and – of course – AC/DC. Still, I can’t deny that my 2 months abroad were, on balance, worth it. Just!

Instead, I opted for Sonisphere as it is towards the end of the summer period and fitted better with my travel plans. It’s only the second year it’s been on and this year’s was a 2-and-a-bit days festival. The Friday kicked off at around midday and the major headlining stage wasn’t used.

Andy and Shalene, who I’d stayed with, very kindly spotted me for breakfast before I made the train journey north (thanks, guys!) to Stevenage. Shuttle buses ferried rockers to Knebworth after a 40-minute queue. Note for next year – more buses needed! Compared to Graspop (and from what others told me, Wacken), the bus service needs a bit of work.

I did have a slight argument with some chaps from Scandinavia who didn’t seem to grasp how queues worked. That is, you join at the end and stay in order. You don’t just jump to the front because you have beer. In the UK, we’re generally good at queuing and also bad at telling people off who skip as we’re too polite.

Thing is, I’ve been abroad for more time in the last 4 1/2 years than I’ve been in the UK. I was also tired, had a cold and was therefore cranky. Politeness went out of the window. Several uses of the “F” word, some pretty precise details as to what would happen to the crate of beer and a handful of insults about the gentlemen in question’s mother country later and they ambled back in the queue. Not all the way back, but behind me and everyone else who’d been in earshot.

Alice Cooper

I lucked out with my “accommodation” at the festival. Sandra had pitched up tent with her friends the night before and there was room for one more which saved me the effort of unpacking and flinging my little one-man effort up. Thanks, Sandy! She met me, I dumped my stuff off and we wandered into the arena where I met Dave and Rho who were in the tent next door.

I’m not sure what happened with the world record attempt for the largest number of people doing the Timewarp at one time, but I soaked up the atmosphere for a couple of hours. I also managed to bump into Jane and Jason (not seen them in maybe 6-7 years) and Holly and Peter who I’d camped with at Graspop last year.

First band of the day for me was Europe. Just a box to tick as I’d never seen them before. They didn’t play too many songs I knew (Rock The Night, Superstitious, and obviously The Final Countdown being the sum total) but they weren’t bad for a “bunch of punks from Stockholm”. I think they planned on doing Carrie, but Joey’s acoustic guitar wasn’t working.

Alice Cooper headlined the secondary stage and effectively the first night of the festival. The start was a little slow and the sound quality not great, but by the end of the set he was displaying all the charisma he’s known for and had the crowd in the palm of his hand. A great entertainer. I still don’t understand starting and finishing a set with the same song, though.

Terrorvision

The last band of the night was in the Bohemia tent – Bradford’s Terrorvision. They broke up quite a few years back but I gather have been doing a handful of small gigs here and there. I think the last time I saw them was at Bradford University quite a few years back, and they are as bouncy now as they were then.

Generally, Terrorvision don’t go for the most intellectually stimulating lyrics. Their most famous hit features the chorus “Do-wop-bo-a-woo-op”, for crying out loud. However, they’re fun. They’re out there to get the crowd to have a great time and from the smiles on the faces of the people all around at the end of the set, they did the job well. My House, Alice, Tequila… all the hits were present and correct.

A great first day, if a little short on bands. I’d expect next year will be a full 3-day billing. At least I hope so!

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Sonisphere Day 1

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Suicide by Cop, Bradford Zuu

And onto Saturday. The early start did mean one thing – I could catch Linda in Lister Park at 8am as she helped prepare for the first Bradford ParkRun (see www.parkrun.com for more information).

Our brief catchup – I’ve not seen her or her hubby in over 4 years – ended up with me marshalling the run! They were a great group and if I wasn’t such a lazy sod, I’d have joined in. In fairness, I also didn’t have a decent pair of shoes on. I’d have crippled myself. OK, and I’m very unfit.

After some time chatting, I headed into town and met Tracey. Like myself she’s got a CineWorld card and we went to see Shelter as it was the next film starting that we’d not seen.

Despite the weather being nice, yes, I sat in a dark room for 2 hours. I also got a nudge from Tracey about fifteen minutes in as I’d started snoring. The film was OK, I was a little tired!

While walking around town I did notice that the place has changed a lot in recent years. Roads are different, shops have closed and opened. Still, it’s fairly familiar and I can find my way around OK.

I grabbed another chip butty for dinner on the way up to Chunky’s, picked him up and drove him to Kaz’s from where we got a taxi to the Fighting Cock. There we indulged in a bottle of their house fruit wine to start the evening.

This will not end well either...

Then down to the Black Swan (aka Mucky Duck) for a couple of pints and to help the DJ download some new music. After that, up to the New Empress for more Brown Ale.

Kaz sings in a band who were playing that night in the Zuu bar upstairs, so we wandered up just after they’d started. I also know Alec and Ste who play guitar and drums respectively.

Ian was also there – always a pleasure to see him – and as luck would have it, one of my old work colleagues from the Exchange was there. I’ve not seen her in years and she now lives in Madrid.

Around this point, memory gets hazy… We wandered round to the New Rios which was pretty near empty. I did catch up with Fraggle, another mate from the old days, before we gave up after one drink and walked back round to Zuu.

I have some vague memory of being fed more beer and a couple of shots before Kaz and I got a taxi back to her’s.

After all the booze and so little sleep the night before, rest assured I slumbered well and deep that night!

What’s more amazing is that I took £50 out with me. And still had it in the morning. Some people are just too generous and I owe a lot of drinks. Wish I could remember who to…

That was pretty much it for my trip away. I had a great lie in the next morning and bacon butties for brunch before I clambered into the car and headed back to Glasgow. With good weather and with it being the end of the weekend, there were loads of caravans. Fortunately, the damn things were all going the opposite direction to me so I actually enjoyed my drive home.

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Where did all the rock clubs go?

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Chunky picked me up and we went to see Kaz who’d kindly agreed to put me up the next night. Only fair she got to see what she was contending with! We talked for that long that I had to change other arrangements, and instead enjoyed a proper chip butty (I couldn’t find one in London – only those bloody oven chips) for brunch.

Vee was my hostess for the evening and I paid my rent in the form of a stir fry. Bargain! Asda do some good stuff for a very low price, just so you know.

As she had an overtime shift the next morning, we just ate and watched Son of Rambow before crashing. Upside – an early night for me. Downside – a 6:30 wakeup on a Saturday. Argh.

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Back in Bradders

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Nice start to Thursday night

Just before lunch I drove over to Chunky’s. He works on the railway in and around Bradford and had offered to look after my car while I took the train to London. With typical northern generosity, his mum foisted tea, cake and biscuits on me as I waited for him. He then insisted on paying for my lunch in town before dropping me at the station.

The journey down was uneventful and a couple of hours later I stepped off the carriage and onto the platform at King’s Cross. A short tube ride later and I was at Andy’s flat where I got to meet his girlfriend (and now fiancee) for the first time. Shalene is crude, contentious, stubborn and lacking in shame. So – pretty cool, then.

I was in perfect time for dinner and we headed for the Grand Union along the road where I indulged in their “hot” Fired Earth burger loaded with chillis. It wasn’t bad at all. The cocktails I washed it down with were rather tasty also.

Next stop was the Stinging Nettle where there were only a few teams for the pub quiz. It was pretty tight with only 6 points or so between the six teams and we came in around the halfway mark. Andy and Shalene managed to get gree drinks in the tiebreaker rounds, too.

The Thursday was a lazy day. I had a slight lie in and then met Ben for lunch by the Lyric Theatre. It was a lovely day as we sat and caught up. Last time I’d met ben was for drinks one night in Melbourne a year or so ago – we originally met in Hanoi.

Helen picked me up from there in the mid-afternoon along with one of her friends. Also in the car was her friend’s 13-week old son who’d just had a cast put on his leg. I ended up baby sitting him while the two ladies had a natter and Helen tidied her flat up for her birthday party.

The party itself was a giggle even though I only knew two people there, but it’s always nice to chat to new folk.

I was walking back to Andy’s later on when I bumped into Shalene at the bus stop. I ended up joining them to go bowling… only they alley had just closed! Instead, we walked around the corner to the Tiroler Hut where we sank a couple of very large drinks while what seemed like the entire Australian population of London (bar Ben) sang very bad karaoke.

And then to Andy’s and to bed. I had an earlyish train to get back to Bradford in the morning.

A short trip, but as ever an enjoyable one. Sorry to those I didn’t get a chance to see and there are quite a few of you. Next time!

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Couple of days in London

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Now, Google Maps works out the shortest route, I think, not necessarily the quickest. I wasn’t too fussed as I had some time to kill and the route it came up with was past Ripon and Harrogate and through the Yorkshire Dales. All pleasant.

However. After heading over a bridge and onto a country road I found that I’d drifted off the marked route. Strange as I didn’t recall any turnings. I doubled back out of curiosity even though my current position would allow me to marry up with the correct road later on.

Then I spotted it. A grass track. Something that only qualified as a road by virtue of the fact that a few 4x4s had churned the mud up. How on earth it was marked on Google Maps as a valid B-road was utterly beyond me. I still gave it a go and managed to get around 80% of the way across before realising that this wasn’t a good idea with a little Renault Clio.

By some miracle and a bit of luck, I managed a U-turn and followed the rest of the plotted route into Keighley and on to Chris and Lydia’s. On the way I passed through several old villages replete with stone buildings and traditional shops. This is very much somewhere I’d recommend taking visiting Americans. Or Asians. Or pretty much anyone from a non-British background. Tourists like to see things they don’t have at home, and areas like this are pretty unique to this country.

The afternoon with Lydia was great with the three young kids to entertain me. Or me to entertain them. However it worked out. It was, of course, lovely to see little Sophie for the first time. Last time I visited, Lydia was a week or so from introducing this little bundle to the world.

My next stop was to visit Caz, just back from Denmark where she’d been living for a year or so. Her parents very kindly fed me before we wandered into town to try and find where all the pubs had gone. Pretty much everywhere I used to drink has closed or moved in the last year or so!

The Exchange, where I used to work, is seriously in trouble. No beer on tap as the manager “forgot to order any” and the fridges near empty. We didn’t stay long there. I bumped into Ste and Alec in the New Empress, which is about 1/4 the size of the old one but sells cold Brown Ale.

An early night, but good to see the old place.

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Back to Yorkshire

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Celebrating promotion

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Visiting the locals again

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Welcome to Thurso

The weather wasn’t quite so good today, but Laurie took me out for a stroll regardless. Thurso‘s not a large place in any respect, but it’s pleasant to walk around.

We stopped off at the local museum, which was re-opened in a new location in 2008. It’s now branded Caithness Horizons and it encompasses the Thurso Heritage Centre. It’s actually a fair size, and the exhibits all look as shiny and nice as I’m sure they did when the place opened. A huge number of topics are covered including the geology, industries, natural landscape, wildlife, history, Viking era and the nearby Dounreay nuclear facility.

There aren’t a huge number of hands-on exhibits, but there’s a lot to read and I did enjoy myself for the hour or so we were inside. Most impressive, for me, was the actual core from the reactor at Dounreay. I am a science geek! Entry is free and further details can be found on their web site.

We then headed for the promenade, which we reached by going through a little archeway between two houses. I love how this archway marks the end of two streets. Very unusual.

Archway to the promenade

As I said, the weather was a little miserable but the great thing with coastlines is that this just makes them look different. Blue skies and sun is nice, but clouds and wind is atmospheric. Quite a few people were out walking their dogs and pretty much everyone here will give you a nod and a “hello” as you pass them.

There’s a set of stairs bolted to the rocks at one point that we walked down. They end on the rocks themselves, which were rather slippy and not worth chancing. Maybe in the summer! Back up above the water, we continued plodding until we actually left Thurso and entered the next town, Scrabster. At this point, we doubled back on the main road and popped into The Ashes for a quick drink and a bite to eat.

According to Laurie, this is the place where anyone getting married in Thurso has their reception. Mainly as it’s the only place big enough! It has a lovely view out over the sea and the bar was cosy. What can I say, though? It sells cold beer, warm food, shows football and the barman was talking to one of the punters about Linux when I walked in!

Northernmost town

We each had a bowl of soup (the brocolli and Stilton was yummy) before we wrapped up and braved the weather for the walk back into Thurso. On the way, I snapped a couple of the “Welcome to…” signs, one of which informed me that the guy who started the Boys Brigade was born up here. I suppose when you’re in a town at the top end of the country you do have to find something to do!

Shopping was picked up for dinner and we returned to the flat where Laurie cooked me a pre-Burns’ Night haggis. We didn’t quite manage neeps and tatties – rather baked beans and waffles. But close.

Once the meal had settled, I was engaged in another popular Highland tradition – the pub crawl. We made our way around a few establishments before ending the night in Skinandi’s, the only nightclub in town. At eight quid, it’s not cheap to get in but the bar prices are fair enough and there’s a free cloakroom for those who need it. Their burgers aren’t too bad either!

I think I got to bed around 4am with a belly full of post-night out pizza.

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Saturday in Thurso

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