...and your oil.

Up until last year, anyone from the UK and a ton of other countries could just fly to the US and simply put up with the intimidating, morose and short-tempered border guards who’d randomly fling you out for no reason other than their wives wouldn’t sleep with them the previous night. Or their coffee had gone cold. Or it was a Thursday.

Then, the Powers That Be decided they’d ask us all to fill in a Travel Authorization (which they couldn’t even spell) online at least a few days before travelling. These ESTA s are free and last for two years.

Well. They’re free until September 8th this year when they’ll start costing $14.

So if you’ve any plans to fly into or through the US – this includes and airport-only stopovers on the way anywhere else - get to their web page and sign up now. Hell, if you’ve no plans at all I’d still recommend it. It costs nothing but five minutes of your time and it’s one less thing that you may forget should you be booking a trip next year.

Frankly, the possibility of me going to the US at the moment is slim. Much as I’d love to see some friends there, and enjoy the suoerb scenery, I simply can’t be bothered with the immigration hassle. They’re even worse than us. The Aussies and Kiwis are strict, but they’re good-natured about it.

However, I do plan on visiting Canadia sometime in the foreseeable future and a lot of the routes are via the US. At least I know I’m allowed to fly there, even if they won’t let me through immigration. Which doesn’t bother me anyway as I’ll be on a transfer so that shouldn’t be an issue.

(credit: I pinched the image from the MoneySavingExpert.com newsletter because I liked it!)

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Going to/through the US? Buy your way in now!

                          

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SLAYER!!!

And onto the final day. Despite an early first act, I decided to scarper into Stevenage on the free bus for a McDonalds‘ breakfast. I got back in plenty of time for Henry Rollins “stand up” routine which was simply staggering. From a metal/punk singer to a one-man troublemaking human rights machine, the guy has been to so many places and done so many things that it’s hard not to be in awe of him.

Without doubt a highlight of the weekend and he didn’t even sing any songs.

Another large gap ensued where I just chilled at the tent and worked through my book. Despite the cloud it was still warm and I actually nodded off for an hour, waking with a start and realising I had only thirty minutes to get somewhere near the front of the stage for the mighty Slayer! I ambled like hell…

It was obvious from the size of the crowd that this was a huge draw for an enormous number of people. Frankly, I’m surprised Tom Araya and company were so far down the bill and given only 45 minutes but such is the state of affairs with large festivals. They didn’t mess around and launched through a brutal set including Reign in Blood, South of Heaven, Mandatory Suicide, Dead Skin Mask, War Ensemble, and of course Angel of Death.

Thankfully, my aging and aching frame was then granted a further rest (and time to head through to the train station for a burger) as there was very little else that interested me until the festival headliners took to the stage.

Those headliners, of course, were Iron Maiden. Legends in their own lunchtimes and several other people’s they rarely disappoint… only this time they did. A little. I know I was shouted down for this after the performance by Sandy and Dave, but I just wasn’t hugely impressed. Far too many recent tracks (which Bruce did justify during the set) and not enough classics. For me, anyway.

Janick Gers and Eddie

I know almost everyone lived the show, but I just didn’t get to sing along enough as I’m not as big a fan of the newer material as I am of the old stuff. Also, I was hoping for a huge finale which could perhaps give Rammsteins’ stage show a 2-minute run for its money. But no. A perambulating Eddie – one of the best I’ve seen, but still just a guy on stilts – was the only “extra” we got.

Now don’t get me wrong. I really enjoyed the show. The band were as musically spot on as always, Bruce is a wonderful front man and the lighting and sound were superb. I’ve just come to expect something amazing from Maiden – and I only got something really, really, really good.

In fairness with a near 30-year history and 14 studio albums (number 15 out this month) they’d struggle to fill even a 2-hour set with everyone’s favourites, but I still feel they have too many classics to worry about pushing new stuff. At the end of the day, if a new Maiden album comes out everyone will buy it anyway.

But, hey. Not to take the gloss off another excellent performance. However, on balance I enjoyed Rammstein more simply for the spectacle. In fairness, I’ve seen Maiden around 20 times, at a guess and Rammstein only once. So far!

An empty festival

Overall, a fantastic festival and well organised. They need more shuttle buses and more campsite toilets for next year (20+ mins queue for a poo at times!), but otherwise a great three days. Roll on 2011. Due to work commitments I don’t think I could manage Download or Graspop next year anyway so Sonisphere better have a good lineup!

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Sonisphere Day 3

                          

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Anthrax

Saturday promised many goodies and was definitely the busiest day in terms of bands I wanted to see. Thankfully across the three main stages, the times had been choreographed so that there – theoretically at least – would be no clashes. Only one stage at a time was “live” and with five minutes to get from stage to stage it was possible (with a little hurrying) to finish one band and run to catch the next.

I had the morning free so used the shuttle bus service to get me back to the train station where I gobbled a KFC for brunch. I’m glad I gave myself plenty of time as a lot of people had had a similar thought and the bus queues were pretty long. Worth the trip, though. Clean loos, good food and less than half the price of the rip-off joints in the festival grounds.

I’d originally planned on watching Soulfly, but I bumped into two girls I’d first met last year at Graspop. The benefits of always wearing the same (Newcastle United) shirt at festivals! Instead, I caught a couple of songs by Heaven’s Basement, and then a few minutes of Soulfly (still trying to be classic Sepultura, still failing) before wandering over to the Apollo stage to get a good position.

The next two hours or so were a blur. A violent, jumping, moshpit of a blur.

Anthrax were the first “must see” of the day and they didn’t disappoint – do they ever? With Joey Belladonna back in the fold, the band ploughed through a 40-minute set consisting completely of classics. Metal Thrashing Mad, Antisocial, Indians… and closing with the utterly geek-tastic I Am The Law. My only issue? Well, apart from it being too short? That most of the kids in the audience only knew the first verse and chorus of the Dredd-inspired masterpiece. What are they teaching kids in schools these days? Oh, wait. That’s my job.

Anyway, Scott Ian and company take their bow and I leg it across the field scattering all and sundry to make it to Fear Factory on the Saturn Stage. I get there just as the band are announced and jump into another pit. Much thumping and violence ensues. As ever, the highest bounces and hardest hits are reserves for Replica. Fear Factory, as I stated when I saw them back in February, still definitely have it – especially since Dino Cazares rejoined.

Papa Roach

Battered and starting to bruise, I turned 180 and ran back to the Apollo stage and managed to crush my way near the front for Papa Roach. Again, a great set but why on earth did they feel that they had to try and squeeze in a new song? Granted it was OK, but with 45 minutes of stage time they really could have stuck to songs the crowd knew.

Dribbling with perspiration (mine and others’, I’m sure), I ambled gingerly back to the Saturn Stage to watch Apocalyptica but gave up after 3 tracks as the sound was awful. Back at the campsite, I ate a lot of junk food and read my book as Good Charlotte wafted down from the Apollo. They sounded surprisingly good and I almost wish I’d stayed up to watch them.

Out of curiosity I walked up to see Corey Taylor doing his acoustic set in the early evening and just managed to squeeze into a packed tent. For those who don’t know, Corey plays with Slipknot so the obvious assumption is that he just hits things, makes noise and has no talent at all (not my opinion, but hey).

That couldn’t be further from the truth. As well as acoustic versions of Slipknot and Stone Sour songs, there was Johnny Cash played and sung with incredible passion. Seriously, this guy was superb. You could buy an album of his stuff and give it to your gran as a present. She’d love it. As did I.

Concrete proof that heavy metal produces musicians, not just noise makers.

Next up on the Saturn Stage were Motley Crue. So I walked down to the Jagermeister tent instead. After their abysmal performance at Graspop the other year I didn’t want to waste my time with them. I met up with Jane and Jason to watch Earthtone9. I thought I recognised the name and it turns out this was their first gig in 8 years. I think I’ve got an album somewhere from the old days when I used to DJ!

My next choice was a toughie – go and watch Pendulum or head into town and get a reasonably-priced dinner. OK, no competition. Pendulum suck more than a high-end Dyson so off to KFC I went. The buses were much emptier and swifter this time and I spent an enjoyable return trip chatting to some of the festival staff. Definitely preferable to listening to a vocalist pretend he’s a black gang-star rapper. Muppet.

Rammstein

Prior to the carnival that was to be Rammstein, I caught up with Moni and Flo for a quick natter but decided I wanted to be a little further forward than they were sitting. Definitely worth the effort though I wish I could have got even closer, even at risk of losing my eyebrows.

I will go no further with describing Rammstein’s set. There aren’t enough superlatives to describe how much I enjoyed it anyway. I’d still not buy their albums but I’m interested in knowing what the best live DVD they’ve released it – it’s on my list as soon as I get an informed opinion.

In short, roll over Alice Cooper. Marilyn Manson can take a seat. Even Maiden with their huge animated stage sets may as well just stick to using nothing but lights any more. Rammstein are without doubt the most impressive entertainers in the rock/metal world. I have never seen a band interact so little with their audience during their set. Never have I cared less. The only disappointment was that they finished with half an hour of their allotted time remaining. I guess this was just a scheduling thing, but it did leave a huge crowd milling around expecting even more!

The final act of the evening was to be Therapy? playing their “Troublegum” album right through. However, after two false starts where the sound and lights died, I gave up. At least I can say I’ve seen them even if they only got as far as the first chorus of Knives. Twice.

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Sonisphere Day 2

                          

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Bizarre freaks

I couldn’t manage to get to Graspop or Download due to spending my extra couple of months holiday in Vietnam. I’m somewhat gutted as it meant I missed some class acts like Lawnmower Deth, Steel Panther, Carcass, Deicide and – of course – AC/DC. Still, I can’t deny that my 2 months abroad were, on balance, worth it. Just!

Instead, I opted for Sonisphere as it is towards the end of the summer period and fitted better with my travel plans. It’s only the second year it’s been on and this year’s was a 2-and-a-bit days festival. The Friday kicked off at around midday and the major headlining stage wasn’t used.

Andy and Shalene, who I’d stayed with, very kindly spotted me for breakfast before I made the train journey north (thanks, guys!) to Stevenage. Shuttle buses ferried rockers to Knebworth after a 40-minute queue. Note for next year – more buses needed! Compared to Graspop (and from what others told me, Wacken), the bus service needs a bit of work.

I did have a slight argument with some chaps from Scandinavia who didn’t seem to grasp how queues worked. That is, you join at the end and stay in order. You don’t just jump to the front because you have beer. In the UK, we’re generally good at queuing and also bad at telling people off who skip as we’re too polite.

Thing is, I’ve been abroad for more time in the last 4 1/2 years than I’ve been in the UK. I was also tired, had a cold and was therefore cranky. Politeness went out of the window. Several uses of the “F” word, some pretty precise details as to what would happen to the crate of beer and a handful of insults about the gentlemen in question’s mother country later and they ambled back in the queue. Not all the way back, but behind me and everyone else who’d been in earshot.

Alice Cooper

I lucked out with my “accommodation” at the festival. Sandra had pitched up tent with her friends the night before and there was room for one more which saved me the effort of unpacking and flinging my little one-man effort up. Thanks, Sandy! She met me, I dumped my stuff off and we wandered into the arena where I met Dave and Rho who were in the tent next door.

I’m not sure what happened with the world record attempt for the largest number of people doing the Timewarp at one time, but I soaked up the atmosphere for a couple of hours. I also managed to bump into Jane and Jason (not seen them in maybe 6-7 years) and Holly and Peter who I’d camped with at Graspop last year.

First band of the day for me was Europe. Just a box to tick as I’d never seen them before. They didn’t play too many songs I knew (Rock The Night, Superstitious, and obviously The Final Countdown being the sum total) but they weren’t bad for a “bunch of punks from Stockholm”. I think they planned on doing Carrie, but Joey’s acoustic guitar wasn’t working.

Alice Cooper headlined the secondary stage and effectively the first night of the festival. The start was a little slow and the sound quality not great, but by the end of the set he was displaying all the charisma he’s known for and had the crowd in the palm of his hand. A great entertainer. I still don’t understand starting and finishing a set with the same song, though.

Terrorvision

The last band of the night was in the Bohemia tent – Bradford’s Terrorvision. They broke up quite a few years back but I gather have been doing a handful of small gigs here and there. I think the last time I saw them was at Bradford University quite a few years back, and they are as bouncy now as they were then.

Generally, Terrorvision don’t go for the most intellectually stimulating lyrics. Their most famous hit features the chorus “Do-wop-bo-a-woo-op”, for crying out loud. However, they’re fun. They’re out there to get the crowd to have a great time and from the smiles on the faces of the people all around at the end of the set, they did the job well. My House, Alice, Tequila… all the hits were present and correct.

A great first day, if a little short on bands. I’d expect next year will be a full 3-day billing. At least I hope so!

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Sonisphere Day 1

                          

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I keep bumping into backpackers who’ve been to Halong Bay. This is no bad thing. It’s beautiful and there are plenty of tours (some basic, some dreadful and one awesome – not that I’m biased given that I was a tour guide on the awesome one). However, I still don’t get how anyone can visit the place and still pronounce the name incorrectly.

It is “ha long bay” – with the “ha” pronounced as in the word “hat” – a short “a” sound and without the final “t”.

It is not “hay long bay”.

Allowing for my inability to type Vietnamese on here, the correct name is “Vịnh Hạ Long“. This translates literally as “the bay of the descending dragons”, a name derived from a legendary story of the bay’s creation.

If you change “ha” for “hay”, you’d end up with a completely different translation. In addition, nobody local would know where the hell you were talking about.

Oh, and no – there aren’t any bloody sharks in the bay. I got sick of answering this question on every single flipping trip I took out.

No sharks.

The crocs ate them all.

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Ha, not Hay!

                          

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Given the poor weather outside, I’ve decided to fork out for a taxi instead of getting the somewhat untimetabled Airport Express bus. Past experience tells me I could be standing around for up to an hour waiting for the next one.

The next time I come here, there will be a direct link on the BTS. It’s finally due to open in August 2010, though there’s no indication of the prices. Only that there’s an express service of around 15 mins and a “regular” service taking slightly over 30 minutes. Certainly one option to keep an eye on.

Well, time to pack up. And throw away these incredibly stinky sandals. My feet will be much relieved at that one. Next post from back in Blighty.

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Heading home

                          

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Last night got messy. I made the mistake of volunteering to lead a group of people up to Finnigan’s where I then made the mistake of telling Pete the barkeep that it was my last night. I was then presented with a cocktail in a flower vase. No exaggeration.

As I came close to finishing it, I then got a panicked phone call from the hostel asking me to gather my stuff and shift to another room as there’d been a double booking and someone else was supposed to be in my bed. I tootled back and shifted, but had to bang on the door of my new dorm as the folk in there had decided to lock it. A bit pointless when they’re actually in the room, and annoying as I didn’t have a key. I explained this to them, and that I’d not be able to get in if they locked the door.

Back at Finnigan’s, I rescued my cocktail and was then given another about a pint in size. And another. Into which Pete kept dropping more shots. We then had more shots.

On a sad note, the shots were raised to a friend’s father who died earlier this week. I promised her I’d have his name honoured by people in Hanoi, and I was true to my word.

As the group started to split up around 2am, I headed back to the hostel and found that I was locked out of the room because the muppets inside had locked the door again. So I rattled the handle and then resorted to kicking it. Repeatedly. And loudly.

Hey, well. I had told them I didn’t have a key and it was obvious I wasn’t in the flipping room.

I was out like a light and woke what seemed like 3 minutes later to my 6am alarm. I gathered my stuff, packed what little remained (outside the room so as not to disturb everyone else) and made my way down to find that my taxi wasn’t waiting for me.

This worked out well, as two American girls had missed their taxi as they had opted to spend the night with a couple of the guys they met in Finnigan’s… The hostel had paid for my cab so I ushered them in when it turned up.

The flight was uneventful other than being a budget one with comfy seats (Ryanair could learn a few things from AirAsia – like how not to be crap and treat your customers like garbage) and we landed in Bangkok just before 11am. The border security was as slow and painful as it always seems to be at Suvarnabhumi airport, though it timed well with the luggage surfacing.

So here I sit with no wifi (come on, Bangkok! Get with the 21st century!) waiting for my bus to Pattaya. I intend to spend the afternoon and evening watching stuff at the nearest cinema to my guest house!

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Flitting through Bangkok

                          

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So I’ll only tell you a few things to whet your appetites and change the names to protect the guilty. And drunk.

The major story a couple of weeks ago made the local paper back home when I saved a young girl from certain death (PDF file – 386k). Which is not quite completely true. In fact, it was blown out of all proportion, but in the reporter’s defence it was the copywriter who reworded everything. Still, it makes me sound good.

I have, of course, been up to Blue Dragon a couple of times and will be back up over the next two days (weather permitting). The swimming course I was due to help with was, ironically, cancelled due to flooding a couple of weeks ago.

Sarah, one of my co-workers from the last school I was at, visited for a few days towards the end of her trip. I took her up to see the place and meet Mike and she was suitably impressed. I made good friends with a couple of boys, around the 7 year age bracket at a guess.

Mike told me that when one of them came in, they couldn’t tell what sex he was let along get any information from him. His hair hadn’t been cut in months (at least), or his clothes changed in a similar length of time. He would sit in the corner and avoid communication of any kind with anyone.

You would not believe this to see him now. Cheeky, funny and happy to clamber all over me with the biggest smile a small child can produce. He’s bright, and I spent a good while showing him a map of Hanoi which he pored over, recognising place names and asking what the symbols meant. Certainly not the scared child he had been not so long ago.

The tours have been great, but hard work as I’ve said before. Courtesy of a typhoon a week ago we had to evacuate Castaway Island and I’ve not been back since – a shame as I’ve not been able to say goodbye to the guys there. I did have a heck of a last night on the Jolly Roger.

The staff gave me a 50% discount on my bar bill, which is a good thing as no matter how much I drank I just couldn’t get squiffy. Being the new teachery-type I am, I can’t quote figures but trust me, I should have been on the floor. Face down. With marker pen all over me. Pretty much like Tom ended up after Jordan’s birthday on the island.

I can honestly say that despite the stress, irritation, lack of sleep and so forth that come with the job – every day was like working with your best friends. Tricky on the Jolly Roger in particular is a heck of a guy and I’m really going to miss hanging out with them.

Of course, the hostel staff deserve a great mention. Hard-working, fun and always smiling. I’ve had some awesome work colleagues in the past, but this bunch are something else. I’ve even learned some Vietnamese, but not really the kind of phrases you want to be using in polite company or around children.

There have been lots of little events and I might document them one at a time as they come to mind or this post will get to a stupid length. I’ve got two “Bar PM” shifts and a day off before I head for Bangkok / Pattaya and I’m going to make the most of the remaining time here.

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Towards the end

                          

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Yesterday I stayed up till 4:00am to watch England be crap, then rose at 8:30am as I can’t sleep for more then 4 hours at present. I collared James, a chap from the US, and we went to see The A-Team at Vincom Towers, which was more enjoyable than it should have been.

The afternoon was spent catching up with you lot, followed by an early night.

Up at 7am today to ensure I could make it to the footie at Long Bien where the Blue Dragon kids have their weekly kickabout. A small turnout of 40 or so didn’t mar proceedings (almost everyone here stays up to watch the World Cup) and the under 14s were presented with a trophy from a local competition.

I took another backpacker, Sean, who was hugely impressed with the turnout and the work being done by BDCF. He chatted to Michael and Tho while I embarrassed myself on the pitch. Hey, I was barefoot. And I suck.

After a drink with the guys, Sean and I headed down to Vincom to catch The Karate Kid which was – like The A Team – far better than it had any right to be. We got back to the hostel in time for free beer then happy hour, followed by me typing this up before I head for bed.

Off to Halong Bay again in the morning and back on Wednesday!

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Footie and films

                          

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I’ll explain the trip first, then tell you why it’s such hard work after!

The trips are hard work, very tiring, but also great fun. The trip involves 4 hours on a bus to Ha Long harbour where we jump onto the Jolly Roger, our private boat. There we chill for a bit until lunch, then have fun diving off the top of the boat into the water. Our kayaks then arrive and – tides allowing – we paddle off to an island nearby with a lagoon hidden inside. As far as I know it’s only our tour groups that go here.

Back on the boat, we chill out till dinner and then happy hour begins. This usually involves the start of the drinking games, dancing, loud music and partying in general.

Next day, some people head home (though we usually convince them to do the extra day as it’s definitely worth the extra) while the rest of us swap onto a smaller boat for the 90 minute trip to Castaway Island. Here, we do wakeboarding or banana boat and rock climbing. Kayaks are available so anyone can just take a boat out and explore the surrounding area.

Overall it’s really chilled out until after dinner when – again – it’s party time. Around midnight we usually try to get everyone into the water to enjoy the bioluminescent plankton. On a good night, of you reach the pontoon about 100m from the beach and stand there, it looks like millions of blue-green fireflies are swimming towards you!

Next morning, it’s a 7am rise for breakfast followed by 2 boats and a bus ride back to Hanoi for happy hour at the hostel.

The hard work is mainly in the hours. I’m up at 7am on day 1 to gather everyone up and make sure we’re not missing anyone. We then split into two buses if required and have a 40hour journey. Then it’s corralling everyone to make sure we all get tickets and onto the boat, often in groups if there are too many – the transfer boat seats 20 at most.

A lot of the work is just keeping people in line. Making sure they follow rules, hoping that nobody minds sharing a room with a stranger – sometimes with just a double bed! I shared with one of the guys on the last trip. Thankfully he didn’t snore.

Safety is an obvious concern, especially when people are jumping from heights and messing in water. We had a guy on the trip before last who couldn’t swim but who still wanted to join in. Fortunately I had a great group who were very supportive. We got him a life jacket and two girls taught him some basic swimming. He even did the wakeboarding on the Island. Ken, I salute you!

With the kayaking, it’s the sense of what the hell are you doing?! when I set off (at the back of the group) to see 18 kayaks all over the place instead of following the Vietnamese guide at the front. If anyone reading this is going to do the trip, please save us a lot of stress and don’t go paddling off randomly. It is possible to get lost in the Bay given the fact that it’s 1500km2 in size. The 2000 rock formations can look a little similar after a while.

Next up is judging the group. When you play drinking games you’re going to divide people – those who are game for anything and those with some level of reservations. Also, if you have a large group it’s often hard to hold interest if you have to circle 40 people.  One of the guests on an earlier cruise taught me Hacienda which is great as you can rattle through it with 40 people in 10-15 minutes, everyone gets drinking and nobody gets a chance to get bored. It also doesn’t involve forfeits so it’s a chance to loosen everyone up without pressuring anyone.

As the night goes on, it either gets wilder (usually) or the group divides which can make things better as you’re only overseeing the ones who have few inhibitions. Less embarrassment!

The partying can run on until 4 or 5 am on the boat. Most people forget that they have to be up at 7:30 for breakfast. I have to be up earlier than that to make sure they do indeed rise. Fine if it’s a smallish group who go to bed early. Hard work if it’s a large group and I have to sleep on the deck where they’re partying!

The island is relaxing for me during the day as the guests chill or go out on their watersports. We may organise a game of volleyball with the Vietnamese staff if anyone’s up for it, or take a small group out in the kayaks. Again, though, I have to get the party going after dinner. I do have the help of the resident wakeboard instructor, another of the hostel staff, which takes some of the burden off me and does give me someone else to “play off”.

Again, this can go on until 3am or so when the staff turn off the generator so they can get some sleep! And again, people forget there’s an early rise. I’m up before 7 to bang the breakfast gong. We have a long trip back to Ha Long and then to Hanoi, where I usually catch up on some sleep.

If that sounds like a lot of partying with little sleep, remember that I take out two trips back to back. I get back from one and straight out on another the next morning. The night I’m back I may also end up taking a group up to Snake Village, which means drinking shots and snake wine with the group.

At least there are gaps in the day when I can catch up with a snooze but it’s really tiring! It’s also incredibly rewarding though. We had two birthdays on the last trip and one girl told me it’s the best party she’s ever had. That made my trip for me.

Tonight’s the England v USA game and I’m in two minds about watching it as it’ll mean bed at 4am or thereabouts. I don’t want to be a mess in the morning!

When I get home I have my year’s probation to go through to qualify as a teacher. Right now it’s seeming as if that will be my holiday!

Post from: Goodbye UK, Hello World! - why not pop by and read some more?

Working hard in Vietnam

                          

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