Tata Thailand – Good Evening, Vietnam!

This is how much of a dipstick I am (in case anyone had doubts). I spent this morning wandering around some shops and getting supplies – bug bite cream, strong painkillers for my back, some more novels to read. I then popped by the Bull’s Head for lunch and a farewell Coke.

While I was there, Billy asked if I wanted to be in a pop video. A friend of his is a director and they had a 2-person US band in town filming a video for their upcoming single. With it coming out in a month or so, they were doing it with a football theme. Essentially, they were working their way up Sukhumvit playing football with various people. At some point in each segment, a Thai girl in a goalkeeper’s outfit would grab the ball and run away with it. Cue next scene.

As a favour, the director offered to feature the Bull’s Head (and Billy himself) in the video. As it happened, I was wearing a Toon top (what a surprise) so fit right in. Heck, I even scored the opening goal. Admittedly, it was only against three waitresses in full costume fromt he restaurant over the road, but a goal’s a goal!

Despite it being about 38 degrees and having to stop for traffic every couple of minutes, it was great fun and a good way to say “goodbye” to Bangkok. After I’d finished my food I headed back to Big John’s, picked up my rucksacks and jumped into a taxi for the airport.

I was with Air Asia again. Their prices are good and for a less-than-two-hour flight I don’t care about not getting a meal. However (this is the “dipstick” moment), they do prefer it if you turn up on the day your flight is booked rather than 24 hours early.

Oops.

I still have no idea how I cocked this up. The correct date is in my diary, both online calendars and on the ticket. A quick bit of maths worked out that getting back to bangkok, staying the night, sorting food, and returning to the airport the next evening would cost about as much as changing my ticket so that’s what I did. To be honest, it worked out for the best as I got chatting to a girl called Sarah who was on the same flight. And staying at the same hostel. And had a lift arranged fro the airport into Hanoi. This, at least, saved me $5 in cab fare and meant I already knew someone in the hostel.

While in Hanoi, I’m staying at the Hanoi Backpacker’s Hostel and, frankly, it’s superb. The dorms sleep 10 and each one is en suite. In addition, there’s a shower block on the top floor in case yours is in use. Each bed has its own locker either underneat or a separate steel one. The terrace bar (a fridge and an outside to sit in) is run on a “trust” basis whereby you just keep your own tab and they add it to your bill. There’s a large kitchen with TV, big fridge/freezer and all the cooking stuff you need. Tea, coffee, bread, jam and butter are all free and breakfast is available in the mornings at various sizes and costs. The staff are also utterly brilliant, very knowledgeable and bend-over-backwards helpful. If they don’t know something, they’ll find out for you.

The first night consisted of emptying the aforementioned fridge, refilling it, emptying it again and heading for Barracuda. This is a pub owned by one of the guys who runs the hostel and it’s right out in the sticks end of the Old Quarter. Walkable in half an hour, but best done late at night when you’re not being accosted to buy knock-off books, lighters and fruit. Oh, and also because around midnight, it’s easy to walk across the exressway without being killed by the insane number of scooters on the roads in Hanoi.

The pub was quite quiet when we arrived, more or less only having a dozen backpackers in it. The pool table’s free, as are the darts, and they also do film nights and footie. When it shut around 1:00, we taxi’d to the Inside Bar which apparently manages to stay open all night. Basically, people close when the police tell them to.

Somehow, I know not how, Sarah and I found the hostel again after some meandering and collapsed at about 4am. Posted by Picasa

Snakes, sodas, sea creatures and sore backs

 My last full day in Bangkok and I didn’t get out of bed till gone 11am. In fairness, I had a lot of kip to catch up on after the last few days and the late arrival last night. The previous post was the result of an email conversation with Elaine and after checking web sites relating to the snake farm, I found directions to it and made my way there.

It’s not very well signposted, so unless you know how to get there you simply won’t find it. The farm is within the grounds of the Red Cross centre near Silom (10 mins or so walk from Sala Daeng BTS station). The centre does a lot of work to do with blood in addition to anti-venin production, predominantly rabies and malaria tests and shots. So it’s a handy place to know!

I was a bit disappointed to get there at 2:20 (10 minutes before the advertised time for the demonstration) to find that it was preceeded by a 30-minute slide show and lecture. Every web page I’d been to mentioned this in passing, but all stated that things kicked off on the half hour. A shame, as the demonstration was hugely entertaining and informative so I’d have liked to have seen the lecture. Mind you, for 70Baht you can’t really complain. For those interested, the slideshows kick off at 10:30 and 14:00 every weekday and 10:30 only on weekends and holidays. They run for 30 minutes and the demonstration following lasts another half hour or so.

The farm is over 80 years old and was the second in the world, Brazil having the first. It was needed as Thailand has 180 varieties of snake, 56 of which are venomous. Death by snakebite is scarily common over here, mainly out in the countryside and jungle. A large number of victims are rice farmers who get bitten by water snakes.

Venomous snakes are bred here for their venom which is “milked” every few weeks. This is sent to a decidated farm in Hua Hin where it is injected into horses. These develop antibodies to the venom and their blood plasma is collected (very humanely – similarly to a person donating) and sent for processing to WHO standards. This is the antivenin used to treat bite victims. The process for the rabies vaccine is virtually identical. For anyone worried, the horses otherwise live a nice relaxed existence with plenty of exercise. They are used to serum production for the ages of 4 to 12 and are retired after that, living up to the age of around 25. Due to the nature of their “work” they are kept meticulously happy and healthy.

In addition to breeding venomous snakes, non-venomous ones are also reared. In the main, these are endangered species. Some are killed in the wild because they bear a resemblance to venomous snakes, others for food or as souvenirs for the more stupid tourist.

The demonstration was fantastic and much closer to a live audience than you would expect. The people running it are all part of the antivenin project and all have been bitten at one time or another. The chap doing the talking (in both Thai and English) was bitten by one of the cobras about 7 months ago. His middle finger and the back of hand required reconstructive surgery and patching up with skin from elsewhere on his arm. Yet he’s still there day after day doing a job that so many people don’t even realise exists.

Not pulling any punches, the first snake brought out was a King cobra. At roughly 5 feet long, it’s amazing to see someone handle it like some kind of sentient rope. Once it was on the ground, an assistant wandered round, keeping its attention. After its turn in the spotlight was over, the senior handler “caught” it again by hand and (holding its head tightly away from the audience) walked up to us and allowed people to touch it. This is the first time I’ve ever touched a snake and it’s a lot softer than I would have thought. It’s also warm, but you can tell by the feel that it’s one long tube of almost solid muscle. It’s also one of the most venomous snakes around, its bite usually being fatal to humans. Unlike many other snakes, when it bites it stays gripped to the victim as its venom is rather thick and needs to be pumped out.

The next snake out was the banded krait, followed by a non-venomous snake with similar colouring. The krait, like the three Monocled cobras that followed, strikes quickly. It bites and releases, settling back to wait for its victim to die.

The final venomous snake to be shown was the Indochinese rat snake. This snake is endangered, but important to the ecology. I’m not sure whether they breed these for release into the wild, but rat snakes (as the name suggest) eat rats, which are hosts and vectors for a myriad of diseases. These snakes, amongst other species, help keep the rat populations down. With them being killed by humans, the rat numbers are not being kept under control.

 There were a handful of other snakes (including one nicknamed the “rainbow” snake due to the way sunlight made it glisten like oil), but I confess I lost track of the names. I have photos of them all and will try to get them onto Fotopic shortly. Finally, the King cobra was brought back out and used to demonstrate “milking”. Essentially, this involved getting it annoyed and then forcing it to bite onto a perspex dish. Its venom trickled out as two vaguely yellow oily streaks.

Once this part of the demonstration was over, two small pythons were literally handed over to the audience. Despite their small size I could really feel the strength in them as they wrapped around me. Especially round my neck! It was rather surreal watching audience members handing snakes to each other. Despite them being moderately docile creatures and “squeezers” rather than “biters” I just can’t imagine anything like this happening back home.

Although only an hour of my time, this was a superb place to visit. I urge anyone with the remotest interest to add this to a “to do” list should they ever visit Bangkok. You can even work it into a shopping trip at the nearby Pat Pong market!

I settled for lunch at A&W having originally intended just to go in for one of their delicious root beers in a tall, frosted glass. The menu was just too tempting. And at less than £1.50 for a large meal, I couldn’t talk myself out of it.

 On the way back, I realised I’d not visited the Siam Ocean World. So I did just that. At 450Baht, it was slightly dearer than the snakes, but I spent almost 90 minutes there and enjoyed it. This is the same place that offers diving with sharks, but that’s definitely out of my price range (and I don’t have enough time) so it’ll wait till I next come to Bangkok.

Now, I’ve not been to The Deep in Hull but people who’ve been haven’t been too impressed. I did visit one of the Sea Life centres in Tynemouth, and again I didn’t think much of it. Ocean World is in the basement of a shopping centre and extends 2 storeys underground. It’s also very well laid out, has interesting plaques next to all the exhibits and a huge variety of waterlife.

The only problem I encountered was taking photographs. The light levels are quite low, but if you use a flash it often bounces off the thick glass walls to no effect. Also, some of the curved surfaces just didn’t want to work with my camera’s autofocus. Hardly something to complain to the management, however. Besides, I got some great photos (the one just above is a favourite).

As well as a multitude of fish, molluscs and the like are a handful of otters, beavers and two seals. The seals are a temporary exhibit, on loan from Japan. Both hve been rescued from the wild, the female with serious chest injuries from which she’s recovered. Their “native” centre is overcrowded with seals and Siam Ocean World had an empty display area ideal for them as a result of the Thai government’s current ban on bird imports. Yes, bird flu even stops penguins being delivered!

 There is even a “hands on” section where you can handle starfish (more fleshy and less rough than you’d expect) and sea cucumbers (soft and slimy… but not!). The tunnel towards the end is spellbinding, with sharks and rays floating over your head. Like the snake farm, I’d recommend this for a visit. It is perhaps a bit pricey, but centres like this must be expensive to maintain.

On the way back, I popped into the Bull’s Head for a quick pint and a look at the papers. The annoying thing with the way the newspapers are “delivered” over here is that they don’t include any supplements. This pretty much means all the football news on a Monday. Grr.

After killing an hour, I wandered through the BTS station to the cinema (going past a Swensons) and watched The Wild. Nice animation, couple of giggles, pretty innocuous Disney storyline.

Walking down the road to Big John’s afterwards, I thought I better have a Thai massage. This time at somewhere fairly reputeable. I do learn from my mistakes. Sometimes. I popped into the massage parlour round the corner from the hostel that had been recommended by several people I’ve met. The proprietor recognised me as a friend of Sanjana’s (the girl I met on my first night in Big John’s) and I got a free drinkie while I waited.

Annoyingly, my back’s been pretty niggly today (probably from hoiking luggage yesterday) and I hoped the massage would help. It didn’t. But it didn’t make it worse either. The massage is rather hefty and I did actually have a small Thai woman standing on me and walking up and down. This might sound OK as she wasn’t the biggest person in the world, but I refer the reader to the laws of physics: Pressure = Force / Area. The force being her weight, but the area being her proportionally teensy feet. Hence much pressure!

Afterwards, I was engaged in much conversation and have exchanged email addresses. As long as I’ve not inadvertantly become engaged to her, that’s fine…

It is now much later than I intended to stay up and I’m off to bed. I have quite a lot of pictures to put on Fotopic and I’ll try to get them up in the morning. Posted by Picasa

The difference between two countries

If you do a search on Google for “Bangkok snake”, most of the top hits are about the anti-venin centre located at the Red Cross hospital on Rama IV Road. I’m going to try to get there tomorrow morning – 70Baht to hold a snake for the first time in my life seems worthwhile.

Do a similar search for “Hanoi snake” and the first page lists places you can go to eat the creatures. Something, incidentally, I do want to try when I’m there.

Clean fun… mucky fun

 My time in Phuket draws to a close, and it’s a shame as I’ve had a great time. Today I went on an “adventure” excursion. This included white water rafting, 4×4 ATV driving, swimming by a waterfall, ox-cart riding (which I did this time) and elephant riding. I ended up spending the day tagging along with Juanita from New York, who’d separated from her tour group to do a bit more of “her own thing” for a few days. She was wonderful company and another person who helps restore my faith in a nation I can’t help but have a bad opinion of due to their pathetic little president’s actions. But I’ll save the politics for another blog!

The rafting, by the staff’s own admission, is better during the wet season. To help, they have dams set up along the route and water is released every morning at 11. It was still great fun, but I’d guess the severity of the rapids would only rate as a 2 on the 5-point scale they use. I’m no expert, though. One to add to the list for New Zealand, methinks.

We were then driven to a waterfall deep in the jungle. The water was much cleaner than the one in Chiang Mai from the previous week as there has been less rainfall. It was only a short stop, but I did get a swim and a few pictures.

Lunch wasn’t as impressive as that on the Bond tour, but still very good and very filling. It seems to be standard practice to have a noisy begging cat at any outdoor Thai restaurant and this place was no different. Again, I may have accidentally dropped some food.

After we were all filled to the gills, we were driven to the same elephant park I’d visited on Friday. Juanita decided to buy her photo from the rapids ride, as did the fella from NZ who’d been on it with us. We then saw half an elephant show (the young female had run off and they couldn’t find her) and had an elephant ride. I actually enjoyed this one a little more then the one in Chiang Mai. The elephant didn’t bestow a gift of snotty legs on me, and the scenery was a lot nicer.

As mentioned above, I actually did the ox-cart ride this time. It was literally two minutes round a hand-made track, though somehow rather enjoyable. I think it was the effort that had gone into making it which impressed me.

Finally, ATV riding. Ozzy Osbourne and Rik Mayall have both come croppers on these in the fairly recent history, so I took it easy.

Not.

 I only got four laps, but I hared round. I think I lapped everyone else who was there at the same time as me and I definitely got muddier. One lad on the tour gave up after three laps (he crashed twice) so I got his last lap. Thanks to Juanita for taking a pic of me flying past on the last corner. It’s my fault it came out blurry as I was so darn fast!

On the way back, we stopped at a gem showroom (not on the schedule). Inevitably, all the woman headed for the sparklies while their partners stuffed all their cash into their shoes. Personally, I was fascinated by the hugely impressive fishtanks. One contained six small sharks (the largest maybe a foot long), while another had some amazing creatures including the most unusual eel I’ve ever seen. If it stayed still it looked like white porcelain with black spots on it.

I didn’t get a chance to find out Juanita’s email or anything as we were separated into different buses for our trips back to our various hotels. A shame, as she apparently has a nice large apartment and I’ve not visited New York yet 😉 Just in case she finds this blog, “thank you” for the conversation and the company. Cherry on the top of a very enjoyable day!

By now you’ll be expecting me to tell you how much I enjoyed my last trip to Swensons in Phuket. Hold still your beating hearts… but I didn’t go. Siobhan was late getting back from diving, and by 7:30 I was ravenous so wandered off by myself and wolfed down a McD’s. Going to Swenson’s alone would negate the guilt-sharing formula so I skipped it.

Unfortunately, all good things etc. Just over an hour later, I was on the back of a moped (with 15.6kg of rucksack attached to me) being zoomed through the streets of Phuket by a madman. Fortunately, this was only for five or ten minutes until we reached his house and all my luggage was transferred to his car.

I felt safer on the bike.

Now I’ve driven some clunkers in my time, but this took the oil-soaked biscuit. Anything less then third gear and something clanked near the front right wheel. Actually, it felt like the wheel itself doing the clunking which was really worrying.

Somehow we made it to the airport in good time for me to check in. Between this fare and the one at Bangkok, it cost me 49Baht less in taxi fares than I’d spent on the air fare (not including taxes).

I had a spare hour or so until my flight boarded, so I switched this little beast on and started tapping… and was pleasantly surprised to find not one but four unsecure wireless connections in the area. One didn’t work, two led to pages telling me I needed to buy airtime and one got me right online with no fuss. I managed to get a few emails off before someone noticed the little green light flickering on the box in the corner of their office and pulled the plug. Spoilsports.

About this time, I glanced up and noticed the FA Cup semi between Boro and West Ham was on the tellies in the departure lounge. I can’t remember the last time I hoped for a 75-minute delay for a flight. This wasn’t to be and we actually took off promptly and landed in Bangkok twenty minutes early. Still, I saw the first half hour.

I’m now sat in Big John’s, my laundry’s been handed in and I’m sleeping in the 12-bed dorm for the first time. I wish I’d booked it before as it’s 60Baht cheaper than the 6-bed. However, there aren’t any decent lockers so I might still try and pinch one in the other room for my laptop when I’m out tomorrow. I’m going to upload this lot and crash out – after the replay of the Liverpool match from yesterday has finished! Posted by Picasa

Beaches, burgers and a sore bottom

I made it through 8 beers last night and was up till 4:30 watching a variety of films (avoid Aeon Flux – it’s awful) with one of the Irish girls and the only other single bloke in the hostel.

It chucked it down overnight and in the morning, but by lunchtime the sun was out and I headed back to Patong with 5 lovely Irish ladies for some beach relaxation. Two headed off for shopping, however, and ended up coming back to Phuket Town early to get their hair done. Apparently this is somewhat perilous as the staff often only know one hairstyle.

Soaking up the sun was OK, but I wanted to try something new. 700Baht later, I was the proud hirer of a single-seat jetski. VRRRRM!!! These things are fun! I literally laughed out loud as I leapt over waves and turned with huge sprays of water. A word of warning to the fellas – at speed, stand in the seat and use your legs as suspension otherwise you will stand no chance of ever having children.

I also helped rescue two Thai girls who had capsized their jetski. One’s lifejacket was far to large and she kept slipping out of it. She managed to cling to my jetski until the hirers arrived and took them back ashore. Curiously only two people bothered to stop and help them – myself and a young lad with a Geordie accent.

Jetskiing’s definitely something I’ll do again. Great fun. My legs were wobbling when I started walking again. Riding the waves was like using a stepmaster for half an hour. Alas, the first clothing casualty occured when I realised I’d left my NUFC cap on the beach. Gah. At least this one lasted 5 weeks or so. The last cap I lost on holiday didn’t make it off the coach in the transfer from the airport to the hotel.

For dinner we stopped at the Rock Bar again. I went for the Kong Burger this time and barely finished it. I also discovered that not all women like cats when a poor, battered puddy tat arrived on the scrounge. All three women threatened serious harm if I fed it as it would “only encourage it and I don’t like cats”. So, obviously, I ignored them. Hey, it’s a cat. It had tar all over one paw and it was scrawny. Cat. People. Cat. People. Friends and family will know which I’m more sympathetic toward.

Rumours are rife that we once again visited Swensons. There are also rumours that when we sat down the staff said “same as last time?” and got the order right.

The rumours are true.

Again. I blame the women. They, in turn, blame me. This is a good arrangement as it all cancels out and therefore nobody is to blame. I also have a theory about ice cream in that there’s only a finite amount of guilt associated with any particular feast. The more people attend said feast, the less guilt is attributable to each individual. So a big party with huge amounts is better for you guiltwise than a sneaky 99 Flake.

Well, my theory has good support over here!

The evening turned into a veritable footie feast. I saw a fair bit of the Arsenal/Spurs match, got back to the hostel just as we opened the scoring in our televised game and then sat through the Liverpool/Chelsea FA Cup game. A pack of Irish girls attempted to watch Brokeback Mountain and we allowed them twenty minutes of the second half so that we could catch the end of the game, then the TV was theirs. As a result, we missed two of the goals and I noticed when I went upstairs afterwards that they’d given up on the film as well. I have a sneaky suspicion it’s because the start of it had been so flipping awful they couldn’t bear to inflict the remaining hour and a half on themselves.