The Cu Chi Tunnels were dug by the people of Cu Chi over a period of decades. Initially they were used in the fights against the French, and later against the Americans. The inhabitants of Cu Chi were staunchly Communist and, despite being in the south of Vietnam, fought for the north – hence being termed “geurillas”. The soil around Cu Chi is ideal for tunnelling as it’s highly compacted. The original tunnels were approximately 60x80cm in size – large enough for the small Vietnamese to crawl though, and also very strong – able to withstand the vibrations of bombs being dropped above.

Today there are two places you can visit to see the tunnels. Ben Dinh has sections of the original tunnels, some widened to “fat ass westerner” size. Ben Duoc has only reconstructions and is more of a “fun park”. We headed for the former.

To marginally update Lonely Planet’s 2005 edition, the entry price is now 70,000d (a slight increase from 65,000d) and the caged wild animals seemed to be nowhere in sight when I was there. I hope that “attraction” has been permanently removed.

Our visit began with a video presentation using old black and white footage which ran for about 20 minutes. It gave a very Vietnamese perspective of the evil Americans destroying their country and the brave rebels fighting them from the tunnel systems. The Americans really did have their work cut out for them. Especially when their first major base in the area was built right over an established tunnel network and it took them months to figure out how they were getting shot at so accurately overnight. The VC must have thought it was xmas…

 We were then gathered around one of the original hidden tunnel entrances – a small hole in ground covered by a camouflaged wooden hatch. Two members of our group managed to squish into the hole and close it with leaves still on the lid to hid themselves. During the war, a VC would snipe from here, then vanish into the hole and crawl 1 km to the river or 4 km inland to make his escape.

Walking further into the forest, we stopped at an example of a “tiger trap”. This was basically a hole dug in the ground with a large wicker “lid” placed over it. The lid was hinged in the centre so that whichever end someone stood on, the lid would flip up and they would fall into the pit beneath – filled with sharp (probably poo-smeared) bamboo spikes below. These traps were designed to catch out GIs jumping a few feet from hovering helicopters.

Near this trap was a small exhibition of Cu Chi guerillas resting. Simply three dummies dressed in the relevant clothes and with standard equipment. Thong took us through it all, pointing out that as they were in the People’s Liberation Front, they had no belief in rank. All soldiers were simply that – soldiers… and also civilians. By day they may be hiding in trenches and launching mortars. In the evening, the same people would be ploughing rice paddies (until the US drained them all and dumped exfolients everywhere, at least).

Along from this is a wrecked M-41 tank, the victim of a mine. It’s huge cannon points uselessly at the ground and it’s astounding the damage that one small explosive can do to something so huge. Another “dummy” exhibit nearby shows how the explosives were made. Unexploded US ordnance was collected and taken apart in hugely dangerous procedures. Sawing a bomb in half is an astoundingly mad thing to do, but this is what they did. The sawblade had to have water dripped on it constantly as the heat it generated could easily ignite the gunpowder inside a 250lb shell. Blacksmiths would then build containers for the liberated explosive, detonators constructed and the resultant devices scattered around routes known to be used by the American troops.

 The last segment of this forest route was a demonstration of many other booby traps, all demonstrated by our guide. Most involved people standing on things that were very difficult to remove. Levers which, when stood on, caused huge nails to enter the leg from four sides. “Take away” traps which were metal frames with a spike at the bottom and angles spikes near the top. So-called because the GI had to head for the hospital with the trap still attached to him – thus taking it away. The last was slightly different – a rack of nails that fit in a doorframe. At night, this would be lifted up and pinned to the ceiling. If someone entered without disabling it, it would swing down. Even worse, if they used – say – a rifle to block it instinctively at head height, the bottom section would swing independantly up into certain areas of the anatomy that make me cringe.

From all this, I would simply say – don’t piss off a Vietnamese person. And certainly don’t try to break into their house at night.

Next up was the part I’d been waiting for. The firing range. The good news was that for every four bullets you bought, you got one free. The bad news was twofold – firstly, they’d only sell me them in 10s. And secondly that the price is currently $1.60 per bullet. A huge increase on the $1 per bullet listed in my Lonely Planet. Nevertheless, when am I going to get to do this again? So I bought 10 shots on an AK-47 and 10 on am M-60. RAMBO!!!!

I minor, though understandable, disappointment is that the guns are fastened down so you can’t go charging off into the bush to “rescue the colonel”. Spoilsports. There are prizes for hitting the targets, but I didn’t manage it with either gun. But who cares? Letting loose an automatic barrage with an M-60 and picturing it devastating the face of my ex-nextdoor neighbour was enough to leave me cackling.

 I have video of me firing the M-60, but I can’t upload it just yet. It’s 25Mb in size and the wireless connection I’m leeching off here just isn’t strong enough for me to get the thing onto my web space. I’ll put up a relevant post when it’s downloadable.

Towards the end of our visit, we left the range (OK, everyone else left. I was dragged away) and came to the section of tunnel that has been enlarged for us oversized westerners. It is claustrophobic, but not as bad as I was worried it would be. One person didn’t go through at all after taking a quick peak and a couple scarpered out of the first exit (there are three along the 80m-or-so length), but the rest of our group crawled along the length. We waddled through most of it “like ducks” as Thong put it, though there was one small bit where the ceiling was so low I did have to crawl on all fours. This tunnel is lit (barely), but the VC used to use small handheld torches to guide their way through. I’d hate to have been down there when the battery went.

Upon leaving the tunnels, we sat for a quick cup of tea and some “tapioca”. This is the root of a tree that grows nearby which is dug up and boiled. It tastes very much like potato though with a different texture. One way to eat it is to dip it into a crumbly mixture of peanuts, sesame seeds, sugar and salt – and it’s not bad for a snack!

That was it for our visit, and we walked back to the bus. On the way, Thong stopped and said “you have ‘forget-me-not’ – here we have ‘touch-me-not'” then proceeded to touch some small plants that shrivelled up. I’ve looked these up on the net and they’re called Mimosa pudica. They look like very small ferns and the reaction they have is much the same as a Venus flytrap’s when insects land on it. It’s called “Thigmonasty“. I’ll spare you the science – go look at the Wikipedia link for more info. Again, I have a short video of this but can’t upload it at present.

The 90-minute ride into HCM City – took 2 hours due to a traffic jam. There are a lot more cars down here than in Hanoi, and the traffic suffers as a result.

The heavens also opened so I decided not to wander far for dinner, instead popping next door again. Tonight I had a “small” pizza which was somewhere between the medium and large sizes at Pepperoni’s and only 40,000d. I had intended to have a dessert, but this really filled me up!

Once more onto my balcony to type all this up, sort out the photos and watch a DVD. “The Man” is worth watching if you have nothing else to do and a few beers in the fridge… 

 Another day of two halves, and thus two posts so I can get more piccies on here!

A moderately early start as I had to go all the way to the other side of the street to catch my bus at 8am. I had booked with T M Brothers (228 De Tham), who I’m happy to recommend as the trip was really good. Our guide was a ex-English teacher called Thong (or “Slim Jim – because I eat like a bird, drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney”) who was superb. His English was top notch, to the point of using a load of Cockney rhyming slang. He got bored with teaching and wanted to practise conversational English, so opted for a job working with tourists. I’m glad he did!

After driving round the block twice to get everyone, our full bus headed for it’s first stop which was to be a lacquerworks just outside of HCM City. This was only a brief detour to allow us to look at the creative process, buy souvenirs and to join another tour group on a larger, more comfortable coach.

It was interesting to see how the individual items are made, and the degree of time and skill involved in them all. Mother of pearl, paint and eggshells are the major components of the decorations and any one piece can take up to 3 months to make as it goes through roughly 10 stages. Some of the pieces in the shop were unbelievably beautiful, and stupidly cheap given the time taken to make them. Sadly, my rucksack space is at a premium and I didn’t have enough cash with me to get anything. I saw at least 10 pieces I’d have happily bought had I the room and money.

 Another hour or so on the coach got us to Tay Ninh, the centre of the Cao Dai religion and it’s “Holy See” or main temple. Cao Dai is a very strange religion – it’s a melding of Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Islam and Confucianism. The figures they revere are as varied as Jesus, Moses, Li Taibai (a Chinese fairy), Victor Hugo (yes, the French novelist), Buddha and Mohammed. Eclectic indeed! From what I gathered from Thong, one of their aims as a religion is to skip the “rebirth” ideas behind Buddhism and instead ascend to heaven upon death. There are 9 steps to heavenliness and these are represented by 9 physical steps – each a large are which can hold a lot of people – within the temple.

A fairly recent “invention” Cao Daism was begun in 1926 and became such a force that it had its own army around the middle of last century. At one point they demanded autonomy from the Vietnamese government and fought for it, despite their religion’s “though shalt not kill” policy. They lost, and after the Vietnam War, they had lands confiscated. Most of these were returned in the 1980’s, however, and the religion has stabalised with roughly three million members. Higher members of the church are vegetarian and must remain so. Lower-ranked followers must be vegetarian for 10 days out of each month. Four services are held every day at 6am, noon, 6pm and midnight. Many followers, predominantly the elder, attend all four in their path up their nine steps to divinity.

Bizarrely, the church has no actual head figure. The last Pope fled the country in the 1930’s and died in Cambodia. No person has since been deemed “worthy” of the lofty role, and so it (and his chair in the Holy See) have remained empty for over 70 years. Also empty in the temple are 6 other seats. These are reserved for the leaders of each of the church’s three branches and the “keepers of the books”. Again, no individuals are currently rated worthy enough for these “9th level” positions – one step from heavenliness.

 Essentially, as I see it, Cao Dai is a way of hedging your bets and worshipping everything. It’s like wearing a Star of David, crucifix (one of each – upright and inverted), yin/yang necklace and bowing to every Buddha statue you see. If you can’t pick one god, just test your luck with all of them.

The buildings they use are incredibly well decorated to the point of being garish. There’s less gold than most Buddhist temples I’ve seen, but they love their pastel colours. Yellow lions guard pink orchids at the stairwells to each entrance; pink dragons wind round the pillars supporting the roof; a huge globe with an eye on it oversees proceedings from the far end of the hall;the ceiling is decorated like a blue sky with gems inset to mimick the twinkling of stars. It all makes for some impressive photgraphs.

It’s also the first place I’ve been in Vietnam where nobody has tried to sell me anything. In fact, for some distance around the Holy See, there are no other buildings and certainly no shops or people walking around with stacks of books. The roads past are blocked off during the service, I assume to reduce noise and interruptions. The ceremony is quite a sight as well.

 The temple is a long rectangle, tourists only being allowed around the outside edges and up onto the balcony. At the start of the ceremony, the highest-ranking churchmembers walk up to the far steps and kneel. They are followed by the next-senior who will kneel on the step down from them and so on until the general congregation (in white) surge in and kneel on the lower steps, men on the right and women on the left.

To the rhythm of chimes, the congregation then bow, cross themselves and so on – again, I think this is in deference to each of the religions Cao Daism is made up of.

We left the service after 20 minutes to catch our bus, but the whole experience was… different. The church staff were friendly and seem to have accepted that tourists want to see what is going on. Amazingly, though, nobody showed us a collection box or anything. A very pleasant change.

The bus drove us to a nice little restaurant where we got lunch and were told about our afternoon schedule. It seems that tours here don’t include entry prices or meals, whereas those in Hanoi seem to. This was a marginally unhappy surprise, but to be fair if one place advertises a day trip at $5 and another charges $7 including entry fees, people will only see the lower price and go for that. Lunch, after all, was the usual reasonable cost of around 30,000d and the Cu Chi entry fee 70,000 per person. Apparently the Mekong Delta tour includes lunch, but I had already decided not to bother with this as a one-day trip just doesn’t take in anything worthwhile. I’ll do a 2-3 day next time I’m here and make the most of a homestay or two.

Delicious food digesting, we re-boarded our coach for the hour or so’s drive to Ben Dinh. 

 [This post was getting huge and I have a load of pics, so I thought it best to split it in two. Picasa will only (easily) allow me to post 4 pics per blog post.]

I had a date with the Colonel next. Come on, I’ve not had a KFC since I arrived in Auckland all those months ago. I’d found it by looking on a website the night before, and walked past it on the way to the embassy. I had to take a break from the heat, and also the Reunification Palace is shut until 1pm for lunch. A regular burger meal is 35,000d (a shade over a pound). I ordered a Zinger meal (nobody outside the UK seems to get Towers – grr), said that “yes” I did want cheese and, go on, large it. Which came to 48,000d. Quite a jump. I think that was the cheese more than anything else.

In fairness, the burger was better than the ones I had in Thailand where the chicken was rather chewy. The chips were good, and the Pepsi was lovely and cold, but was on the losing side of a 1:5 ratio against more ice than I’ve ever seen crammed into a glass. I am happy to say, though, that I have had a KFC in every country I have visited recently. Sad, but it’s a hobby.

 Outside the window I could see the Municipal Theatre, a gaudy tan building (not pink as LP has it – not in my opinion anyway) and the Caravelle Hotel, possibly one of the most expensive in HCM City. Advertised prices range from $220 to $1200, and it stand on the site of the old Catholic Diocese. So one huge, money-grabbing, ostentacious, self-obsessed, greedy organisation replaces another. Such is life.

Back in the heat, I walked up to the Reunification Palace. One word of warning – Lonely Planet features this on their “7 hour walk around HCM City” and shows the route as going in the west gate (Huyan Tran Cong Chua) and out the east (D Nam Ky Khoi Nghia). You cannot do this, as I discovered the hard way. I walked round the south, up to the west and got told to walk round the top. Which I did. Ten minutes later, I got to the east, main, gate and bought my ticket. I’d walked about 50 yards away from here when I was heading past the south fencing. Tickets are still 15,000d and I coughed up and wandered onto the grounds of this very impressive, though somewhat 70’s-looking, building.

Over to the right are two tanks, of the same models as the first ones to crash through the gates when the war ended and the president arrested. I took a couple of snaps then headed to the main building (watching a tourguide drop one of his charge’s cameras and smash it. Whoops) and had my ticket checked, then was told to join a group. It sees the ticket price includes a guide, which is pretty good value.

 The trip round the building took around an hour and a half, including a rest break on the top floor as even the guide was tiring in the heat! It was interesting and I got a few good snaps, but mainly it’s just a posh building with some cool “war rooms” in the basement.

One thing that tickled me were the signs on the lifts, all of which were various sizes. The two I spotted were for “5 people or 300 kilo” and “8 people or 500 kilo”. Do the maths – these were not designed with western folk in mind!

After the tour ended, I walked outside and watched two local teams play football on a field in the grounds. The pitch was small and the goals barely 6′ x 5′ so scoring was hard. Great way to waste 15 minutes or so.

Then I walked home. I was “accosted” by a very polite cyclo driver. It seems (reading LP) that many of these are “second class” citizens and legally shouldn’t even be in HCM City at all. They supported the Americans during the war and were stripped of their citizenship, as a result of which they cannot own land or property. This particular guy – his English was pretty good – showed me a scrapbook he has with pictures and recommendations from many tourists. Kind of like a cyclo-CV. He seemed like such a nice bloke, but I really have no need for a cyclo traipse around HCM City.

 Instead, I popped back out and picked up a “day bag” – a small rucksack just to hold a waterproof, some drinking water… that kind of thing. Got a doody little one that’ll fold up and fit into my big rucksack for when I’m travelling. Bargain at 90,000d. I could probably have shaved 5000d off, but I couldn’t be bothered with the whole “walking away, getting called back” bit.

Next, I needed some drinkies. I was desperately thirsty (bad thing to be over here) so I popped into a little shop round the corner. Not quite as cheap as a supermarket, but the little old lady who ran the place looked so sweet! And the smile on her face when I grabbed can after can from the fridge was worth it! I ended up with about 9 cans of various drinks, 3 milk drinks and a load of water for a shade over £3 – a good price. Then I bought some fresh pineapple outside for 3000d. Luverly to munch on the balcony as the world goes by (noisily) beneath me.

My last “task” of the day was to sort out the next one. There are far too many tour companies round here to go nitpicking between them, so I walked straight over the road to TM Cafe and booked a one-day trip to the Cu Chi tunnels and Cao Dai temple. A staggering $5 for a 10-hour day. I’ll let you know how it went soon.

After spending far too long online and typing this mammoth entry up, I walked the vast distance of two doors down to the “333” bar. This is “haa-haa-haa” in Vietnamese and is also the name of one of the local beers. Be careful how you pronounce it, as “haa” can mean “three”, “old” or “women”! I opted for a dragonfruit shake (yum), frid rice with beef (very yum and a large serving, too) and a mixed fruit shake (also yum). 50,000d in total. Superb. I think I may have found my regular eatery.

And now to post this lot up, email you scoundrels and get to bed. I have an early start! 

 As well as being the second day of the 2006-2007 Premiership season (I only found out this evening that we beat Wigan yesterday), today was the day I waved goodbye to Hoa’s Place and jetted down to Ho Chi Minh City. It was another early morning courtesy of noise outside. It seems that Sunday is a very communal day for the locals, and by the time I eventually gave up and faced the sun (just after 8am) they had been sunning themselves and eating since around 6:30am. Large groups of Vietnamese sat in deckchairs and plastic seats, families and friends enjoying a day together. I can’t say being woken up by kids having fun is something I’ll complain about!

As ever, I had a run down the beach and a swim. The sea was fairly calm on this, my last day, and I made the most of it before chowing down on my fruit salad. I had a word with some of the other guests about accomodation in HCM so I’d be nicely prepared when I arrived.

I then had a quick shower and packed all my stuff (I need a bigger rucksack) before saying my goodbyes and getting a motorcycle ride to the airport. Nobody leaves Hoa’s Place without a hug from the man himself and I was no exception. Hoa is a Nice Guy in every way, and I would like to thank him and his family for their hospitality… and great food!

At the airport I discovered that my flight to HCM City wasn’t direct and instead I was going via some place called Pleiku. I looked it up in Lonely Planet and it’s in the Central Highlands and really isn’t anywhere worth visiting. Neverthless, about 2 hours later I visited it.

The upside was that I got two glasses of complimentary Coke on my journey to HCM City. The downside was that I had to land twice in the scariest plane in the world ever. In fairness, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve not heard horror stories, exactly, about Vietnam Airlines. I have, however heard anecdotes. The best by far is the one where one of the cabin crew had to borrow someone’s sickbag. Then asked for another one as the passenger had already deposited their chewing gum in it, so obviously they couldn’t spew on that.

Anyway, the plane itself wasn’t too bad. It’s just I was expecting to jet off to HCM and instead I propellered off. This had it’s advantages. Well an advantage, in that I just got to invent a new word. I copyright “propellered”. The downside is that small aircraft aren’t anywhere near as stable as the larger ones and really take a buffeting from the winds. Also, when they land they tend to lurch all over the place. Or maybe that’s just the pilot I had.

The only other time I can remember flying in a propeller-driven aircraft was on a work trip to Aberdeen and back. Pleiku airport makes Aberdeen’s look like a metropolis. Basically half a mile of tarmacced runway and a small building, population 3 plus travellers. At least I can add it to my list of places visited. It’s too small to qualify for a visa stamp in my passport, though.

HCM City is nice and easy to get into from the airport. Taxi at 80,000d? Motorbike at 30,000d? Nope. Public bus number 152 at 2000d. Unless you’re foreign in which case it’s 4000d, though they do give you both the tickets you just bought. Hmm.

The bus dropped me off at the end of the street where many hotels and guesthouses are situated. I walked down “Mini Hotel Alley”, about the narrowest street in Vietnam I have seen, and then round the corner onto De Tham. I’d already rejected some places at $12 (haggled down to $11) and $7 when I started to look for Hotel 265 which I know has dorms for $3 a bed per night. Before I got there, a woman jumped out of a silk shop at number 195 and showed me a room at $5 a night.

Two beds (one double, one single), hot water and shower, fridge, two fans, balcony with hammock… and as it turned out, free internet courtesy of someone else’s leaky wireless. Bargain.

The only downside is the balcony overlooking the main street. A great view and very atmospheric but also very noisy as there’s no double glazing. Glad I packed earplugs!

I had a quick walk after I’d settled in and ended up having a chicken burger at a restaurant on the corner. I’d not eaten in over 8 hours and it just looked so appealing! I had a nice chat with two local girls in there who asked if there were any Asian people in my parentage. They thought all English people has blonde hair and blue eyes… Afterwards, a quick drink in the Guns n’ Roses bar where a nice Vietnamese girl narrowly beat me at pool. This is some achievement. Most people trash me at pool.

After a single beer, I headed back to the hostel and made plans for tomorrow. One of these is to collect my emergency Visa card from the Consulate.

The really, excruciatingly bad news is that I rang Nationwide to cancel the cashcard that’s never appeared. And 10 minutes later dicovered an email from Hanoi telling me that it had turned up and they could get it to me before I left HCM. I rang Nationwide back, but once it’s cancelled, it’s cancelled.

In a word – arse.

So tomorrow I will visit a bank and withdraw a large amount of US Dollars. I can spend them here, and easily convert them into Singapore and Aussie dollars when needed without incurring further bank charges for using a card to get the money from.

And with that, I bid you good night as my back’s killing me. I’m hunched on a stool so that I can get near enough the balcony to get a wi-fi signal while my laptop is plugged into the mains!