Well, I can safely say that Jetstar’s staff aren’t anywhere near as good as Virgin Blue’s but that’s mainly because Virgin’s are so good. The flight was comfy enough, but noisy. I reckon the 320 I was in was the most rattly ‘plane I’ve ever been in. Every time a servo kicked in, the entire cabin shuddered in sympathy making a noise like a washing machine full of ball bearings on final spin.

Having said that, I still managed to snooze for an hour towards the end of the flight though my contact lenses felt like they’d been dried in a furnace when I opened my eyes.

Queueing for the Australia Coach to the hostel (419 Caravella, which will be on the accommodation page shortly) I got talking to a very nice youg lady (damn, I sound old saying that) from Bristol, called Kerry. She’s pretty much done the “other way round” from my trip having already gone through Japan and Hong Kong. Certainly someone I hope to be chatting to and getting information from over the next couple of days!

We’re both staying at the same hostel and sharing a room, as it turns out. The reception was actually still open when we arrived after midnight, as Gloria (I think one of the owners) busteld about behind the desk. She’s a real character and knows how to make you feel part of the place within moments of walking in.

First impressions of the hostel as slightly mixed, as the character itself seems lovely but the facilities slightly lacking. The room we’re in has en-suite bathroom and only two bunks which is nice. It has a (very quiet) fridge, which is even better. And aircon which works very effectively. But there’s no secure storage within the room, the only spare plug sockets are halfway up the wall near the door (i.e. far away from the beds) and the only light switch is the main one for the room. No little shelves or personal bedlights which can make things so much easier.

You do get what you pay for, though, and this was the cheapest hostel listed on HostelBookers in the Cairns area. This includes dinner at a local restaurant, though I suspect it’ll be one of those teeny portions upgradeable for $5. I shall wait and see! They also offer free nights’ accomodation if you book certain tours/activities with them. With any luck, one of those will be a 4- or 5-day Open Water course.

I was up at 8:00 this morning and went for a run into the town (only two blocks). There’s a nice little “exercise station” on the grass nearby which is good for situps and leg stretches on the return route, too. It seems very quiet, though this could be the time of year. This could work in my favour when it comes to haggling prices for courses.

The weather’s not too bad, despite the reports on television. It certainly chucked it down last night, and was a little overcast when I went out. However, the sun is very definitely up there and can be felt right through the cloud. I’m glad I picked up some factor 30+ sunscreen in Brisbane. I’ll certainly need it once I get out on a boat.

Oh, and I’ve located no fewer than five free wireless spots around the hostel. Whoop!

Well, I’ve been stationary for too long again. After another few days at Belinda and Albert’s, I booked a flight to Cairns for this evening at a stupidly low price. It means arriving at midnight, but that’s hardly a problem.

Again I have to offer a huge amount of thanks to B&A for their hospitality, generosity and kindness. They dropped me off at the airport a short while ago (I’m typing this after finishing my Red Rooster burger and while waiting for my boarding call) and foolishly kindly offered to let me stay on my way back, should I head southwards again.

The last couple of days have been very much “not a lot to report”. On Saturday night we watched The Hills Have Eyes (recent remake) and ate sweeties. One of the great things about being “grown up” is the way you can walk into a newsagent, point at the 5c candy (they call them generically “lollies” over here) and just say “Four of each please”. Then pay for the whole lot on plastic. Then get really sick munching them, sat on a beanbag watching people being eviscerated by radioactive mutants.

Sunday you all know about (previous post, people).

Monday was spent playing Planescape Torment on my laptop for roughly 18 hours. I started this in Thailand, I think, and made a short return to it in Thailand. I bought Evil Genius while on my first visit to NZ and became addicted to it for 3 days until I had so many minions that may laptop started to go into meltdown and staggered like a drunken 95 year-old on two wooden legs of odd sizes. I’ll have to save that one until I get home, I think.

Lo and behold, I was sick of the mention of hit points, THAC0 and planes of existence by this morning so spent the day reading my electronic copy of Tom Reynold’s superb book Blood, Sweat and Tea. For anyone who doesn’t spend far too much time online, “Tom” (it’s a pen-name) is an Ambulance Technician or some similar term. Generically he’s an ambulanceman and he started a blog some time ago called Random Acts of Reality about his job. This is also the reason for his pseudonym – many employers have taken a dim view of people in the UK and US exercising their legal right to free speech and have sacked them (or at least threatened dismissal) for discussing their work online.

Fortunately for him and us, Tom’s employers didn’t even go mental when he was offered a book deal and started appearing on everything from Radio 4 to Sky News plugging it. The book is available to buy from Amazon or you can legally download it as a PDF file from Friday Books, the publisher. I’ve read a lot of it before in its original blog form, but it’s a great read. As well as being humorous, touching and emotive it’s also very well written. Go on – download it. And if you enjoy it, buy the thing. “Tom” is one of the many unsung heroes in the UK who often gets the rough end of a stick. It’s great to see that he outsold pretty much everything on Amazon during the first week of publication despite the free download version being available.

Anyway.

I am now sat an at airport. My flight call is in 35 minutes and at 23:40 I will be arriving in Cairns. While there I intend to not drown. I intend to do this with the aid of a tank full of air and some professional people who I’m hoping will be able to tell me how to use the thing to prevent the drowning hoo-ha. As my camera is not waterproof, do not expect too many pictures unless I fork out and hire a proper underwater one for a day.

Now why doesn’t Brisbane airport have free wireless internet? Cheapskates.

 Well, it was about time I acted like a child again. This is one of the best bits about being grown up – along with eating chocolate for breakfast and walking into a restaurant to order a desert without a main course. You get to choose when you go to the theme park without anyone else having to decide for you.

OK, OK – I had to scrounge a lift from B & A, and we were joined by Justin who I’ve met a couple of times before. The park we chose was Warner Bros Movie World. Being the last day of the school holidays in Brisbane, we expected the worst… only to find that the queues were pretty good. There was just the right number of people to create an atmosphere in the shows and for the parade, while not having to wait longer than 10 minutes for any ride we went on. Great weather, too.

 So what did we go on? Well, the Superman ride was amazing. 0-100kmh in less than 2 seconds followed by a rather twisty rollercoaster. Lethal Weapon was also pretty scary, being one of those rides where you dangle from the harness and go upside down a lot. The Wild West log ride got us all wet and the Scooby Doo roller coaster was scarier than I expected.

The other rides were fairly tame but enjoyable. Shrek-4D had some impressive 3D and other effects (I won’t spoil it), while the new Batman ride was well designed and does throw you around a fair bit.

 As with most theme parks, the worst part was paying for food at lunchtime. The meals were roughly twice the price you’d expect to pay in a regular burger bar, though the steak burger I got was delicious.

I’d recommend the whole park to anyone, though at $60 it’s quite pricey for people here, I gather. If you wait till the right time, you get deluged with money-off vouchers but, of course, this was the school holidays so that wasn’t going to happen. There’s still Dream World, Sea World and Wet ‘n’ Wild to get through yet!

 Oh, the visit did raise a very important question: who’s fitter? Catwoman, Hawkgirl, Batgirl, Wonder Woman or the redhead from Scooby Doo? Frankly, I didn’t want to choose. Partly as they were all delicious in their own individual costumes, and partly because I’m sure they could all kick my ass if I chose the others. Yes, I admit. I got all “teenage” over women in tight costumes. Deal with it. It’s the Y-chromosome in me.

All pics courtesy of Belinda – thank you! 

One word of warning: much as I think the train system in Melbourne is good, the timetable I had lied and said that the train I caught from Ben’s would stop at Spencer Street (or whatever it’s called). Nope, it stopped at Flinders Street which meant a 15 minute walk with backpacks to the other station and the SkyBus. Never mind, at least it was a nice day. So with Slayer destroying my eardrums, I made the plodge.

Perfect timing, at it happened. I arrived just in time to get my ticket and jump onto the bus. The queue at the airport for my flight was pretty horrendous, but meant I didn’t have to mope around for too long afterwards. This was good as I had barely had 3 hours’ sleep and didn’t want to nod off and miss the plane! On board, I got talking to a girl from Melbourne (actually very near where I was staying with the Luxfords) who was heading to Brisbane for a presentation before being transported back home the same evening. So a quick “hello” to Elise for the company and chat on the flight! Next time I’m in Melbourne, I’ll give you a shout.

Belinda and Albert were working so I have them a call to let them know I’d arrived. I was planning on heading into the city to get keys from Belinda, but instead I was told to head for another station. Albert drove out to meet me, drove me to the house and dropped me off during his lunch.

Wow.

Have you any idea how much I have to do for any visitors when I’m back home to rebalance all this karma?

I spent the rest of the day recuperating and chilling out after the lack of sleep the previous night. We did make a dent into the wine I’d bought at the Luxfords – a very nice red indeed!