Category Archives: Australia

Crap dive

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I struggled out of bed at 6:45 and made it to the dive shop for 7:30, even though we didn’t set off to the boat until gone 8:00. There was only a small group going to Rottnest today: myself, a local guy originally from South Africa and a Swiss couple.

The journey over wasn’t too bed, probably partially aided by the motion sickness tablet I’d gulped with breakfast. Once on the island, we kitted up and returned to the boat.

A very short sail got us to our dive site – Little Armstrong Bay and down we went. I was buddied with John, the local, who’d been here before and had two rubbish dives. Afterwards, so many people had told him he’d caught it on a bad day, he elected to have another shot.

He wishes he hadn’t. I wish I’d not bothered as well. And the Swiss people didn’t fare any better.

The “dive” was only to a maximum of 4.9m – more of a snorkle than a dive, frankly – which means that all the water movement stirred up silt from the bottom and made visibility lousy. There was a lot of vegitation down there, but otherwise very little obvious marine life.

We managed 45 minutes or so of zipping around trying to find things and then gave up. The swiss were already aboard when we got there, and all of us decided we simply couldn’t be bothered with the afternoon dive.

Thing is, the shop didn’t have a refund policy. Now, OK, you can’t predict weather or conditions. But on the other hand, even a nominal refund down to the value of a single-dive trip would have been good customer relations. Instead, all we were offered were $80 vouchers good for another dive within a month. Naff all use to three of us who will all be elsewhere in Oz (or in Europe) by the end of the week.

So Malibu Diving – not recommended. And if that’s the best choice dive site around Rottness (and there are about 12, looking at a map) then don’t bother going there to dive anyway.

Other than that, the island’s lovely! And my underwater camera housing works a treat. Shame the vis was so poor that I didn’t get any photos worth bothering with.

Back on the mainland, our divemaster Simon very kindly took me for a beer. He even located a pub selling Brown Ale! It was on tap, so I settled for a half. Still, nice to have had my first taste of Newkie in Australia after almost 3 months over various visits.

Seaside surrounded by women

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OK, that’s more dramatic and egotistical than it sounds. The girl I met at KFC the other night invited me for an afternoon out with one of her friends and her daughter. We were also joined by another girl from my dorm to make up a nice fivesome for a trundle over to Hillary’s Boat Harbour – Kathryn, Madelaine, Anne, Toni and myself.

The weather was great and the Harbour lovely to visit. It’s very much a family day out kind of place with lots for kids to do. A couple of pegged-off bays are available for shallow and safe swimming, trampolines, crazy golf, restaurants and shops. To be honest, we didn’t do a whole heck of a lot but that’s what lazy Sundays are all about!

I got my first dose of HP Sauce in longer than I can remember with a basket of chips and overdosed on fat with a strawberry thick shake then spent $65 on a snorkel to go with my dive mask. Not bad – it was cheaper than the same product in Cairns.

The hours really flew by as we dawdled around trying to make sure Madelaine didn’t get lost before Anne dropped Toni and I back off at the Hat. Tonight’s plan is to catch Smokin’ Aces at the cheap cinema in town before an early night as I have to get up at 6:30 if I want breakfast before my dive tomorrow.

Later that evening

Smokin’ Aces: strong cast, good acting, not a great story, painful twist at the end and incredibly jumpy filming. Not hugely enjoyable. Shame.

Lack of sleep

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OK, so staying up until 5am using the internet wasn’t the world’s greatest idea, but at least it means I’ve cleared one heck of an email backlog and got to chat to a few of you!

I managed to get another package mailed home today. I hope it makes it. The last one I sent from Oz went AWOL. Australia is the only country I have yet encountered which has a postal service worse than the UK’s. This would be an impressive feat if it wasn’t so disturbing.

My plan to visit the Mint fell flat when I discovered it closed early on a weekend, so that’s something for another day. One advantage is that after I got back to the hostel I found one of those touristy books with vouchers, this one offering a free silver coin or something when you buy your Mint ticket.

I’ve booked a total of five dives over the next few days. On Monday I’ll do two off Rottnest Island which is nearby. Then on Tuesday afternoon I’ll get a bus down to Busselton for three dives on Wednesday. I was expecting to have to do two sets of two dives over two days, but the company there – Dive Shed – told me they can easily allow me two wreck dives around The Swan followed by a 50-minute dive off the Busselton Jetty.

These are two very highly-regarded dives. The former is a nice shallow wreck, deliberately scuppered on my birthday 10 years ago to form a man-made reef. The latter is the largest wooden jetty in the southern hemisphere, again built to encourage the growth of sea life. It’s 2km from land to tippy-most 12m-wide point out in the sea. Pretty impressive. And I’ll get to try out my underwater camera and case for the first time, too!

Hopper, the manager at the Witch’s Hat, was really helpful in sorting this lot out. Always nice to have staff at a hostel who really know the area.

Oh my belly

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Bad start to the morning when I slept in and didn’t make it to the ferry to meet Ngaire and her sister. As it turns out, they were as rough as I was and admitted they’d have been bad company anyway! Plus, I discovered today that I can’t get a ferry to the island and then go diving – I have to book the entire trip in Perth first.

I was turfed unceremoniously out of bed at 10:30 as I had to change rooms. In fairness, checkout is 10:00 here so I was given a lie-in, and they were very polite about it! My new room is only 3 beds (one bunk, one single – mine) and therefore a few bucks dearer. It’s nice enough, as are all the rooms here. After doing the guest house/hotel thing with Hans for the last two months, it makes a nice change to be hostelling again with all the associated chatting to strangers.

I wandered up to the local Coles to get some food – beans, bread and milk. Oh, how I’ve missed cold milk! Back at the Hat, I got talking to a chap from Hawaii for a while as I attempted to eat my meal and failed dismally. My tummy just wasn’t playing ball! I drank plently, though. I assume I was more dehydrated than I thought.

My to-do list was quite impressive when I wandered into town and I forgot to take the package with me that I wanted to mail. D’oh. Not to worry. Postcards bought and stamped – they’ll be in the mail tomorrow. I had a good wander. Perth centre is pretty easy to navigate round. It’s not big and it’s a grid, making it hard to get lost. Appearance-wise I’d plop it somewhere between Melbourne and Cairns. If you’ve been to both, you’d understand!

Down by the river, the most noticeable landmark is the building housing the Swan Bells. A strange structure looking like a glass spire surrounded by curved wings. It contains several bells and is “probably the largest musical instrument in the world”. How it’s different to a church tower – and there are larger church towers – I don’t know. I need to do some reading!

To kill some time, I went to see Hannibal Rising which wasn’t as mind-rendingly awful as the earlier Hannibal. Mind, it was nowhere near as good as Silence of the Lambs. Thomas Harris should have stopped while he was ahead. Well-made and well-acted, but it could have been any old thriller but they somehow managed to shoe-horn Lecter in.

Oh, I also managed to get my Oz phone charged up again. If you want the number, just ask for it. I used it to ring my cousin in Brisbane but she wasn’t in – instead I got talking to her mum (my aunt) who’s visiting now! With any luck I’ll see her next month before she flies home.

Back to the hostel and I sat chatting to a German couple and a Swiss girl, then an Irish and a Scots lad joined us. Dinner was KFC – there’s one near and I couldn’t resist. By the time I got there, the restaurant was closed and I had to pretend to be a car at the drive-through. This happened to Matt and I in Stoke one night many years ago. Difference was that this time I got talking to a lass in the queue who was there with her daughter to get some popcorn chicken. I now have a guide around Perth tomorrow! Aussies are just so damn friendly!

So it looks like my plan tomorrow is to wander the town with Kathryn. As long as she knows all the cheap shops and tourist attractions, I’m laughing.

Perth-ectly fine

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Well, the flight landed dot on time and it was a pleasant one as well. Air Malaysia give a decent range of films so I spent the flight trying not to nod off and watched Flushed Away and half of Open Season, plus Family Guy, The Simpsons and Justice League. When we touched down I could tell I wasn’t in Asia any more by the fact that the screech of tyres wasn’t immediately followed by the unclicking of a plane-full of seatbelts.

Immigration was the usual queuing nightmare I’m used to in Oz as all bags were searched, scanned and so on. For the first time I was asked to show my flight itinerary. “You mean my onward ticket? I don’t have one.” The officer blanched visibly then went white when I explained that I’d sold my house to fund my trip. In fact he actually said “You sold your house?”

Thankfully, the gazillion entry and exit stamps in my passport seemed to appease him and I was allowed in. Phew.

I picked up the shuttle bus ($15) and got chatting to a few people on it, who were all in different hostels. One chap’s here for a year working as a dive master, just making it in under the 30-year age limit. I could have caught up with him, but I’ve changed my mind about heading to Exmouth as it’s just too flipping far!

I finally reached the Witch’s Hat at around 6:30. Hopper, the manager, turned out to be a really nice guy who’s full of information and help. I got checked in, dropped my stuff, said “hello” to my roomies and booked in for the next three nights as well. Necessary as there was only one bed free after tonight and I didn’t want to have to shift hostels.

At 7:30, I strode off towards the Emperor’s Crown, a sister hostel, where two girls I’d met on the bus were staying – Ngaire and her sister (I won’t even attempt to spell her name as I know I’ll get it wrong). We were joined by Eric, a Dutch guy also on the bus, and walked down to the riverside for dinner at the Lucky Shag.

My first proper bacon in two months. Wow. And too much beer. And some wine.

We had a great night, and it was gone midnight by the time we dropped the girls off at their hostel. I walked past my street on the way back to the Hat so didn’t get to bed till after 1:00 at which point my body realised exactly how many hours it had been functioning and promptly went on strike.