I am going to lose so much weight while I’m here. My diet in New Zealand was… filling. To say the least. Over the last week or so I was there, Dunkin Donuts and a box of 6 carb-filled goodies was a daily purchase. The last meal I had was one of Burger King’s special deals – two large burgers, a large fries and a drink. Lunch was usually whatever Subway had on special that day.

Today I have eaten one loaf of bread, one small margerita pizza and a bowl of beef noodle soup, and necked around two litres of water. Last night’s dinner was a chicken burger made with very lean chicken. Tomorrow morning I will be running in circles being beaten soundly at football by a bunch of kids half my age.

I fear within two weeks I’ll be able to count my own vertebrae through my translucent chest. I wonder if this diet will help unclog my arteries, though? It’s certainly better for my bank balance. In total since I’ve got here I’ve spent 156,000 Dong on food and drink. That’s a shade over a fiver in two days, including drinks. A fraction of what I was spending back in Auckland, and there are no pubs nearby tempting me to wander in and spend more of my (rapidly vanishing) cash on fermented drinkables.

Time for another (free) cup of tea…