Melbourne has a handful of theme restaurants. There’s Witches in Britches (burned out about a month ago), Hunchbax and the one that started it all Dracula’s. I’d booked tickets at the end of last week for Fiona and I. I was planning to leave Melbourne the next day and I’ve no idea when I’ll see her again so it seemed like a great plan to go out for a great night.

And a great night it was. I can’t put any pics up as there’s a photograph ban inside the venue which is understandable as they charge for pics to be taken with the cast. At $15 each, we didn’t bother – a shame as it would have been nice to get something on here, but pop to their website instead.

The tickets were $57 each ($63 on weekends) and, annoyingly, I could have got a 10% discount from a voucher I found later on. Not to worry, at least we got a free cocktail each from the Melbourne tourist guidebook.

On entering, we were hoarded to the bottom of the stairs and greeted by a very camp, overacting “vampire” who pretty much put us in our place. All very theatrical. The doors swung open and we walked upstairs to the bar to queue for the ghost train that was to take us to the dining area. The ride was quite short, but entertaining and Fiona screamed like a girl. Which is fair enough as – between you and I – she actually is a girl.

The theatre and dining area was superbly decorated. Permanent lamps shaped like skulls with red eyes, table lamps looking like they were made of stitched human flesh, skull pepperpots and the cast and staff all dressed in various Gothic outfits. The guys looked great while the women looked… erm… astounding to say the least. It seemed pretty obvious from their attitude that they loved their job. At least, if they didn’t they were very convincing liars.

Our waiter was the guy from the entrance who hammed it up more than an entire pigfarm, treating us “badly” (wiping his wet hands on Fiona’s top and so on) while still giving us great service and keeping the laughs going between acts on the main stage.

All the acts we saw over the evening were brilliant. Magic tricks, comedians, music numbers, dedications to members of the audience… the whole thing was just wonderfully chaotic and well choreographed. In between it all, the wandering staff kept spirits up (and glasses full – I won’t scare you with our bar bill). The food, included in the ticket price, was also excellent though the servings weren’t huge. Fiona had steak and I had a veggie curry, served in a hollowed-out skull!

The show lasted around four hours from the time we entered until the time they insisted we all left. The cast received a well-deserved round of applause and everyone made their way to the exit.

Ben very kindly picked us up and we popped to a bar for one more drink before dropping Fiona off for the last train home. I checked, and she did make it back in one piece!

When we returned to the house, I popped online and booked myself a flight for Brisbane the next morning. Ben, as with everyone else, had proved himself to be a wonderful host and is also on the list of people I seriously owe. Thanks, fella!