Dragging my carcass out of bed, I walked through the now settled snow to the hotel reception where we met the guys who would be giving is the practical lessons on winter driving. As it happened, both were in my chalet as well, but I walked over early anyway because I’m a swotty student like that.

Our group of five covered things like vehicle checks, how to spot the stuff that hire companies try to cover up, fitting and removing cnow chains and finally a short (20 minutes each, roughly) driving test. The conditions weren’t too bad as the snow blowers and scrapers had been running since morning, but it was still plenty slidey if you weren’t careful – like one of the guys in the other bus who lost a small piece of trim when he sideswiped a snowdrift.

I was the first to drive, and took things perhaps a little slowly but the instructor wasn’t critical. Nat went next as she has come down with an awful flu-ey thing ans just wanted to get done so she could go back to bed. She and Emilia, who went next, both work in Chamonix and are used to driving on the right but not in snow. The final two are new reps who will be working in Val d’Isere and Tignes respectively. Neither had driven on the right before. Or on snow chains. Or in a minibus.

Both did pretty damn well.

It was only three weeks ago that I was dropped into a van with Ian and told to head to Carrefour thirty kilometres away to pick some things up. Now I no longer grapple with the door instead of changing gear and I usually remember to drive on the right. Although I don’t think the course actually taught me anything new, it did help me to pay attention to what I was doing a little more and was definitely worth the time. Besides, I get a certificate and it’s always worth getting those bits of paper!

On the subject of driving, I think most French motorists are latent homosexuals. At least, I’m inferring this from the fact that so many of them are so close to my back end on the roads, they could be giving me colonic irrigation with their radiator fans.

You didn’t wish hard enough. I never did get he wireless going. I also couldn’t hack into the wall-mounted system that provides the charged wireless as they’d changed the default password. Worth a shot, though.

IT-wards, there was little to do so I spent the time keeping stranded people company and crushing cardboard boxes. The snow started to come down last night and averaged around 40cm at a guess. Some of the exterior door locks were frozen shut which caused some problems, and all trips back and forth to other resorts were – at best – delayed. There was an accident at Les Arcs 1600 which closed the road for almost 2 hours.

After the road re-opened, I had to drive down to collect a girl who’d been taken to hospital earlier on. Nothing too serious, just a bad viral attack as it turned out, but safety first when you have 800 people sharing accommodation! It was the first time I’d used snow-chains, so I was a little over-cautious to start with, but fine on the way back up the hill. It still surprised me how fast some people were whizzing up and down – and not necessarily in 4x4s. Loonies.

The winter driving course was postponed from 5pm to 9:30pm as the drivers were all later arriving due to the winter weather! That’s later this evening, so hopefully it will be fun. Theory tonight, practical tomorrow.

Dinner was with a bunch of people due to work in – I think – Mirabel. The admin folk are alloted a place to eat each night, spreading them around all the new staff. These staff live and work together during training as they will when they go to their resorts – resort managers overseeing chalet managers overseeing chalet staff and hosts.

I’m surprised nobody has really given us the third degree about the food other than the staff themselves as it would be a good way to test the quality. Having said that, it’s good that the chefs themselves do ask, as do their immediate “bosses”. It’s when you see the group of them messing about, kidding each other and working together that you realise exactly why this is such a good industry to work in regardless of the very poor pay.

Your costs are covered, you get to live somewhere fantastic and you’re working with people you – hopefully – become good friends with. The closest I remember back home was when I worked in the Exchange Ale House in Bradford. I was being paid money to hang out with my friends and help other people (paying customers, guests, whatever) have a good time. Only I didn’t live somewhere fantastic, but you can’t have everything.

** later **

The theory part was pretty good fun though didn’t really tell me a lot I didn’t already know. In fairness, I’ve been driving for maybe 10-14 years longer than almost anyone else in the room. One advantage of being such an old dodderer.

It ran on quite late so I went straight to bed afterwards as I had to be up early for the practical.

So a few more little stories. Before Ian left (I have been christened “New Iain” by everyone), we popped into the McD’s in Bourge on our way to Mirabel. It became painfully obvious through our dire pronunciation of French that we were actually English. Of course, the staff spoke English so took our orders in our mother tongue.

As I turned to take my food to the table, the guy behind stepped up to the counter and said, “Do you speak French?” before rattling his order off. I guess they get a lot of tourists in there.

Right now I’m sat in a hotel in Les Arcs, unable to connect to the internet despite there being a wireless connection. It’s about as dodgy a one as I have found and we’ve managed to get two machines onto it, though it’s taken (quite literally) hours to manage.

We were expecting two plugs from Misco which would have allowed us to send the internet signal from the reception area to the training area via the mains electrical wiring (seriously!), but these haven’t turned up. We ordered them with 24-hour delivery nine days ago. After four days they said they were having trouble processing our credit card and… oh! As we were on the phone, it received clearance.

Expecting it to arrive the next day, we changed the delivery address to Les Arcs and breathed a sigh of relief.

Only it didn’t show. So we called them and they seemed genuinely puzzled that we’d expect a 24-hour delivery to arrive the following day. English! *Tut* Obviously, it should arrive the day after.

Only it didn’t show. Again.

This time they told us that the truck with our package in had been stolen. Two days previous.

So here I sit, all those days later awaiting a 24-hour delivery package that’s now 192 hours late and counting. I wouldn’t mind so much if there was anything else I could do but all my work relies on this connection. And I didn’t have time to copy a load of films over from my large hard drive in the office before I left either.

Hey ho.

Aside from that, I beat the snow up and it looks like it’s going to tank it down overnight. This may make it a little difficult for me to get away tomorrow, but I might end up staying to deliver PCs anyway. As I arrived, one of the last coachloads of staff was being dropped off. Around 700 reps, chalet staff, porters and the like all turning up for their season – the jobs I’d originally applied for!

It had been a long journey for all of them – coach from somewhere in the UK – and the logistics of housing this flood of people was down to a handful of staff. In addition to that, they have to sort out uniforms, food, directions and – over the next week – training.

So far we’ve had a few no-shows, which is normal, and a few drop-outs – also normal.

It really is pretty impressive watching all the things that go on behind the scenes in resorts like this. I guess we don’t think about it when we book our tickets and turn up. We just expect a clean room, some food and someone to point us in the direction of the slopes. The number of people involved, though, is surprising.

Well, I now have two hours to kill before dinner and not a lot else to do aside from keep kicking at this dodgy wireless on the off-chance it finally works.

Wish me luck.

This was one part of the job that worried me when I applied. I’ve only ever driven on the right once before (Magaluf a few years ago) and I got into an accident at a junction. I hasten to add that it wasn’t my fault (I have a witness!), but being the tourist I got blamed anyway.

So you have the obvious with all the traffic being on the wrong side of the road. Nice country, barking mad drivers. After a while, I got tired of all the beeping horns and flashing headlights (and screeching tyres, smashing glass, screams of abuse…) and decided I wasn’t going to be able to re-educate them simply by stubbornly driving on the left regardless.

After a while, you get used to it. Like in Spain, my first real problem was that every time I tried to change gear, I’d open the door instead. Not fun at 50km/h on an uphill stretch with a sheer drop to my left.

While driving in France, if you’ve not seen a Renault Kangoo van after five minutes, you should pull over at the first opportunity and have an eyesight test. The bloody things are everywhere. Almost every small van you see is a Kangoo. And they’re crap in the snow, I’ve been reliably informed. Which is great as I’ll be using one to get to and from the resorts. Lovely.

Traffic police here are complete bar stewards as well. Speed traps are everywhere and not necessarily signposted, or even obvious. Sometimes you’ll see them stood at the roadside with a camera on a tripod. Other times it’s a plain, undecorated car in a layby. On a par with a story one of the Aussies here told me – a camera hidden in an adapted wheelie bin.

I’ve actually been driving a big Renault Trafic recently, and the things go like stink. Six gears, tons of pull and they corner wonderfully. I can even get the tyres to squeal going round some of the hairpins. I will of course be backing off the accelerator come the snowy season! Some of the corners don’t have any barriers and the drops are pretty damn scary.

The company offer a short driving course which I’ve been offered a place on as well. I think I’ll take them up on it as I will be doing quite a few miles kilometres. A little knowledge is always a good thing.

So now I only have to worry about what happens when I get home and I’m used to driving on the right…